"Mmm baby?" His smooth southern voice drawled out half asleep as his hand swept her arm, bringing tingles along her nerve endings.
"Yes?" She asked sensually wrapping her arms around him and kissing his chin, and he asked her after catching her lips in his
"You still love me right, you aint mad at me no more right?"
She smiled and kissed the tip of his lip like a gentle breeze confessing
"Of course I doalways and forever...I could never be mad at you baby"
He smiled and he turned her around on her back kissing her again as her shapely legs wrapped around his thighs ready and waiting for another run of passionate lovemaking. It was lucidly amazing, feeling like their bodies were pulsating with electrically charged up protons and neutrons. Falling asleep with a satisfied smile on his face. A while later, he wasnt sure how long, he woke up to the sound of a baby crying. Not sure where it was coming from, he noticed that she was gone. He could still smell her. That sweet vanilla strawberry smell she always had and he called her name
"Freckles? Baby, come back to bed!" Sawyer rubbed his eyes and looked around waiting for her response. He all the sudden felt a sense of dread thinking something was wrong when she didnt answer as he slowly rose up out of bed and walked to the bathroom.
His eyes widening as he saw the white tiles on the floor covered with a large spot of red. Her arm still draped over the side of the bathtub, as the blood trickled from her wrists and Sawyer screamed her name
"KATE!!!" The level of gut wrenching pain echoed throughout the room. And finally after he felt the salty burning tears bleed his eyes, she opened hers and looked back at him. Sawyer gasped in surprise, she was alive? When Kate replied coldly
"You did this to me James!"
It was like a knife wrenching out and gutting out his heart as his brow creased in tormented pain, closing his eyes to ward off the unsightly vision, and when he opened them again, she was gone.
These dreams had been happening more frequently lately.
----------------------------
The next day
"Tell me how he did it?" Sawyer demanded holding onto the collar of Richards shirt. "Dont bullshit me Maybelline, I know you did somethin to him to make him forget!"
Sawyer dragged him back to the room he saw Faraday come out of that day, desperate to know more, he wanted the drugs too." It was getting to be too much. The nightmares were getting worse and worse and he couldnt handle it anymore.
One day last week Faraday went to see him, walked in like his normal Doogie Howser bumbling self, came out not rememberin anyone, even that chick Charlotte he always hung around. At first thinking it was fucking funny, but then Sawyer felt a sense of envy.
"I dont care how the fuck your little hippy funkadelic trip worksIm sick and tired of this, I want to forget, I need to"
He spoke as if reliving a painful memory. Thinking about that day. The day his family left and he lost her. He and Juliet had spent the last 2 years dealing with the most bizzaro shit hed ever seen. At times Sawyer swore it was a dream, but when the body count started stacking up and their little island cemetery kept growing, Sawyer knew this nightmare had become a reality.
He was almost thankful at first for being tossed into the chaos, because it made him forget about what it was like before they left. It seemed like years ago, but for Sawyer knowing they all perished as well, made him feel hollow inside. The excitement and chaos could only cover up the emptiness he felt for so long. It didnt take a rocket scientist to guessinfact, Juliets first words on walking back to the beach after they witnessed the explosion was
"She would have been proud of what you did James"
Sawyer looked back at Juliet with contempt swiping her bottle of whiskey back as he stalked off needing to finish off that bottle and mourn her in his own way. It all happened so quickly. How could they have blown themselves up? But what if they didnt? What if someone survived? His mind not allowing him to complete those thoughts he decided to turn to his rage instead. These fucking people, this goddamn island. Son of a bitch! What if he hadnt jumped when he did, maybe they would have been forced to jump out before the boat exploded and thus all their lives would be spared! He smashed the bottle against a tree and went on a rampage, looking for his axe, he was either going to tear some fucking shit up on this island or end up killing himself. Either way, he didnt fucking care. Passing out sometime later that evening, he was woken by a horrific scream. His head spun back around his gaze narrowed as he listened for the noise again. And then he heard machete fire.
Sawyer began to rush towards the noise when Juliet ran into him.
"Sawyer, weve got to get out of here!" Juliet exclaimed in a panic.
"Whats wrong?" Sawyer asked as he hurried back to the beach to find out what the commotion was about. When his eyes widened after a flaming cannon ball shot through the air and was gunning for his tent.
"RUN!!!!"
Sawyer took Juliets hand and they hightailed it back to the brush along with everyone else darting shoot fire and cannonballs, Sawyer figured he didnt need to worry about his little revenge trip to tear up the island now. And it was only the beginning.
They had become nomadic, like the natives, catching up with Maybelline and his band of merrymen, Sawyer never really felt at home with them, but it was a way to survive. He and Juliet were the spokesmen, and leaders for their people, the new people, the freighters, and the dwindling number left from flight 815.
"So your gonna give me what he took and give it to me now." Sawyer threatened holding a gun up to him as extra incentive.
Richard simply smiled back at Sawyer and he nodded his head. Answering simply
"Alright James, but just remember, its no quick fix, it could infact make things worse for you..."
Sawyer looked back at Richard with creased brows, wondering when Karma was going to stop punishing him. Remembering the nightmare again last night, hearing those screams from the nights before, hearing her voice call to him and he shook his head shutting it out. He was a desperate man, just needing to try anything that might make this end.
"Fine, I dont care, whatever it is, Ill do it." Sawyer was a desperate man. He couldnt keep up with the dreams of Kate. He couldnt deal with the horror of seeing those he loved perish into a salty grave and blow up before his eyes. He wanted to forget.
Richard nodded and replied
"Very wellCome with me"
Sawyer followed him down a series of tunnels and hallways, finally coming to a room with a television screen and a massive chair. He was told to take a seat and Richard put a helmet on Sawyers head with goggles, similar to the one Karl wore, programming the monitor to a series of images, Richard gave Sawyer a pill to swallow. He looked at Sawyer before turning the helmet on and replied
"Good luck, I hope you find what your looking for James."
And shortly after Sawyer blacked out.
---------------------------------
He came too and the song, 'Ill be home for Christmas,' by Karen Carpenter was playing on the video monitor. Sawyer thought this was really odd. Not understanding where the fuck he was, he tore off his helmet and glasses, casting them aside. He was groggy and disoriented feeling like a sledgehammer had just hit him. The last thing he remembered was the crash. Running a tired hand through dirty long blonde hair. Not understanding where or what he was doing here, he stumbled out into the light of day, into the green jungle.
"What the fuck?"
Sawyer asked stunned that he was still on this island. "What the fuck was this?" He panicked thinking he had to get out. He had to get off this island, build a boat maybe and try to signal for help. He couldnt stay here. No fucking way.
Sawyer felt the stubble on his cheek, wondering how long he had been out of it. Remembering he had just shaved yesterday.
No this wasnt right. This wasnt right. He thought panicked. Something felt totally off.
"Sawyer!" Suddenly a blonde woman came out of the jungle and he looked back at her not knowing who the hell she was, but she looked vaguely familiar. He wasnt sure if he could trust her though; backing off when she got close enough he challenged her
"Who the hell are you? Where are we? What happened to the plane?"
Juliets face fell when she heard Sawyer, understanding now what was going on. She replied
"Oh god, you let him do it to you didnt you?"
"Let who do what?" Sawyer asked annoyed.
"You idiot!" Juliet slapped him on the back of the head and Sawyer glared back at her angrily, and Juliet declared
"I know you did it because Daniel had it done, well he didnt have a choice Sawyer, he was going to get us all killed!"
Sawyer shook his head disregarding her not knowing what the hell she was talking about and once he realized she wasnt a threat he began to stride into the jungle Sawyer retorted
"I dont know what the hell is going on sweetheart, but I sure as hell know we aint in Kansas anymore, and aint nothin gonna happen unless we get ourselves an old fashioned SOS goinDid you find any phones or radios yet?"
He assumed she was one of the passengers and they simply were going into the jungle to look for equipment.
Juliet looked back at Sawyer bewildered sighing in frustration as she grabbed his arm.
"Listen to me Sawyer whatever it is, you erased if you dont make that connection again before its too late your going to get the sickness!"
"The what?" Sawyer looked back at her like she had horns growing out of her head and he shook his head and replied
"Lady, I dont know what your smoking, but you might wanna knock it off before you start talking to the trees."
Juliet shook her head in frustration and she replied too angry to argue with him
"Just find out what matters most to you Sawyer because if you cant find it before its too late, youre going to die!"
Sawyer met Juliets gaze bewildered as she stalked back off into the jungle.
He of course ran into Richard later that day, who explained what Sawyer had done to himself and what had happened since the crash.
Sawyer had a good laugh when it was all over, thinking he needed to take another walk. He couldnt get over the feeling inside him that feeling that this was wrong, all wrong. And what did she mean he would die? It didnt make any sense. Sawyer was sure Juliet was delusional.
He came up to a clearing, hearing a woman panting and another woman speaking to her. Peeking in he felt like he shouldnt be there, and the brown haired woman spoke to the blonde
"Its okay, you just need to do this okay, now Push!"
Sawyers mouth gaped open as he saw the woman give birth right infront of him. Glad he was at an angle where he could only see the brunettes face. But somehow he was drawn to this. Shit, that was the girl on the plane. Claire, thats right. And that other woman, that was Kate. Kate. His eyes fixed on hers as she wiped a stray strand of sweaty hair out of her face, and he instantly felt the draw.
Jesus, they were out here in the middle of nowhere, he had to find that doctor, but maybe Kate needed his help. Looking back, he saw Kate holding the baby with a wide smile on her face as she passed him to Claire and Sawyer called her name
"Hey Kate! She gonna be okay?" He asked as his big clumsy self stumbled on the scene, but it was as if they vanished into thin air when he got to where they were and Sawyer creased his brows in confusion.
They were just here werent they?
He went back to the beach to find Jack, but remembered they werent here anymore. That was right, Richard said they had died. And Sawyer was filled with a melancholy sense of sadness. Not even sure why, he barely knew them, but he would have liked to. Especially Kate, he knew she was different, like him.
Going to bed that night, Sawyer thought he would find refuge in his dreams. His face returning to a calm expression as he fell deeper and deeper into his subconscious. When he found himself dreaming about a familiar setting. People were all scattered around the beach around what looked like a huge raft made out of bamboo and old barrels for floating.
"Have you seen Sawyer?" He overheard Kate ask that VH1 has been holding the bottle. And Charlie shook his head.
Kate looked down at the ground sadly and she gave him a piece of paper for the bottle, asking Charlie
"Can you make sure he gets this?"
Charlie nodded his head as Jack called them off to go with him. Kate looking behind her, her eyes searching back, scanning the beach.
Sawyer didnt understand why, but he felt like he had to stop her, stop her and tell her to stay with him, emerging from his hiding place he called out to her
"Kate! Kate!"
But she couldnt hear him, and he called her name again.
Woken by a shaking on his arm, Sawyer recognized the familiar blonde face as Juliet and she spoke softly
"Sawyer, wake up, it was just a dream!"
Juliet had been in the next room when Sawyer started shouting Kates name and she shook her head looking back at him
"It doesnt matter what you do Sawyer, the nightmares will always come back."
Sawyer looked back at her confused and Juliet shook her head replying sadly
"Just go back to sleep James, try to remember as much as you can"
But Juliet already feared if he lost Kate, there was no hope for him now. If he couldnt remember enough by the time the sickness set in, there was nothing she could do. Feeling sad all of the sudden, she didnt want to lose him. And Juliet decided that she would try to work with him tomorrow and fill in as many gaps as she could. She couldnt lose him too.
--------------------------
"Sawyer!" Juliet shouted to him as he looked over his shoulder after chopping some wood.
"Sawyer, youre coming with me, Im going to take you on a tour of the island."
"Who says?" He asked stubbornly having no intention of going with her. But Juliet wouldnt take no for an answer as she replied
"Sawyer it wasnt a question."
Sawyer growled and he replied snidely as he passed her by finally moving from his spot
"You sure you never been married before Blondie, cause your damn good at orderin us around!"
Juliet glared but she knew what was more important and she took his hand. She took him first on a canoe ride to the other island, the twin sister of the island they resided on, and walked him through the cages and the rock quarry.
"You were held prisoner here for a few weeks by us"
Sawyer chuckled and he replied
"Now thats more like it, I coulda guessed someone like you would be into S & M Blondie!"
Juliet rolled her eyes and kept walking
"You, Kate, and Jack were all our captives, and you and Kate escaped with Jacks help."
Sawyer kept on walking, but as he turned the corner he had a flash of something
Chain gang looks good on you Freckles! Kate was standing there facing him, her face blushing in the dark as she stood behind those rusty cage bars.
But then it was gone just as quickly. Following Juliet he figured he would continue to entertain her little whim. And she showed him where the security fence was. Going back to the other island they toured the old barracks and Juliet explained
"Before Claires house was blown up, you lived over there."
Sawyer narrowed his eyes as Juliet led him up the steps of his old house, feeling a strange wave of fatigue pass over him, he brushed it off and kept on walking. Juliet felt tremors in the ground and worriedly grabbed onto one of the wood beams in the stair railing.
"Sawyer we have to get out of here, its happening again!"
"Whats happening?" Sawyer asked confused as his feet clumped on the wood floor. Getting another flash, he saw Hurley there replying
"Ill leave you two alone dude!"
Seeing Kate standing there across from him he handed her a glass of wine and for some reason he found himself feeling disappointed that she took it.
"Sawyer!" Juliet yelled at him, the trip down memory lane forgotten as she pulled his hand and yanked him out of the house. And he looked back, Kate and Hurley disappearing from his vision.
"Come on, we have to get to open ground!" Juliet shouted as she heard the loud pitched humming and Sawyer shouted asking her as the drums began to pick up and the purple light illuminated the sky
"Whats happening????"
Juliet looked back at him to answer putting her hands over her ears in gesture to get ready when her eyes widened in fear.
His nose was bleeding. Shit, it was happening! No no, it was too soon. She just needed to buy them some more time. Trying to think fastthey huddled in a low ground ditch along some brush
"Juliet?" He asked again, feeling like all of the sudden the world was going to end when the northern lights began to fuck up the sky, and then he felt the blood trickle down his nose, wiping it off with his fingers. Juliet panicked taking his hand, once the shaking stopped she replied
"Come on, we have to get you to Richard!"
Sawyer nodded realizing something was finally wrong now, not putting up an argument, and Juliet took off running, he followed behind her, but then he saw another flash this time of Walt, and it blurred his vision causing him to trip.
"Sawyer!" Juliet shouted as she turned back around needing him to hurry here, when she saw that he had collapsed on the ground.
"SAWYER!!!!"
Juliet felt her eyes tear up as she tried to tug him awake
"Sawyer no not yet, please!"
He struggled to open his eyes blinking and he looked past Juliet, seeing a series of blurred spots first, and then as they came in to focus new people stood there thinking he was hallucinating again, Sawyer saw Jack, Kate, and Sayid standing there he looked back at Juliet and replied
"I think you need to check me into the island Looney bin Blondie, the dreams are back."
Juliet put her hand on Sawyers face and looked over her shoulder to where Sawyer was looking, her eyes widening in shock, when she saw Jack, Kate, and Sayid standing there. Her voice dry, she looked back at them, thinking she was hallucinating now and she asked meekly croaking out
"Your, youre here..."
Jack dropped his bag and kneeled by Sawyers side and Kate went to his other side taking his hand and he saw Kate looking down at him worriedly, a smile spread to his face as he looked back at Juliet and replied
"Well if this is the way Im goin, it aint half badWith the exception of Jackass bein here that is...(he looked over at a bewildered Kate and replied) Hi Freckles."
Knowing he had to be getting near now, the visions were starting to get more real. They had come to take him home. Sawyer felt his head get dizzy enjoying the blurry fuzzy feeling it gave him and he closed his eyes again, never fearing death, but at least this felt peaceful.
"Sawyer?"
Kate spoke to him now putting her hand on his face.
"He lost his memory" Juliet explainedto them and Jack looked back at her and asked
"Why is his nose bleeding?"
"He was suffering from the island sickness, butbut" Juliet was about to continue when Sawyer interrupted them
"Freckles come here." He asked Kate as she bent down, he whispered something in her ear that caused Kate to cry, a strong tear rolled down her face and she looked into his eyes longingly and finally leaned in to kiss him.
And Sawyer tasted the salt from her tears as her small hand touched his face he looked back at her all the sudden sitting up in surprise in realization when the warmth and wetness from her lips touched his
"Your real?"
Kate nodded and smiled pursing her lips, unsure about what all this meant, she just acted without thinking, something she hadnt done for a very very long time. And Sawyer looked back at Jack, Sayid and Juliet. Rubbing his face in question. Juliet nodded and finally concluded looking back at Kate with a small smile of realization and releif
"It was you all alongYou were his connection."
Kate met Juliets gaze confused and Juliet replied
"You saved him."
Sawyer swallowed his mind still groggy as he slowly met Kates gaze. It suddenly all made sense, the dreams, the visions, that feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he experienced the phenomena, Juliet was rightKate was his connection.
