The LOST Writers' Island

figured everyone was writing some sort of Oceanic 6/Left Behinds story maybe I should write one. And I swear i'm working on my other fiction, had to get the distractions away.. but this is a one shot piece on something I wish the show would do.

-----------------

He turned back, doing a double take as he stopped walking on the street. Surely he didn't see that. Couldn't have. The girl with blonde hair wasn't there anymore though. Like she never had been. Sayid told himslef that he never saw her to begin with. And kept telling himself that.

But for a moment..

She was there, blonde hair, blue eyes. That familar little smirk that he'd gotten to know so well. 3 years later he still would've recognized her anywhere. A person he'd tried to forget he ever knew.

You've been around Hurley too much he thought to himself. It's contagious. Sayid remembered Hurley when he went to move him, talking to people who weren't there. Or maybe he was just finally losing his mind.

She wasn't there his rational mind commanded. You need to get some damn sleep that's all. But he hadn't been able to, for many reasons. Nightmares, restlessness, paranoia whatever it was. He would allow himself to believe it was guilt. No he couldn't. He was doing what hat to be done. They'd killed Nadia, He was simply paying them back. Nothing to feel guitly about there.

But what about them, the ones left on the island? His mind asked him as he started walking again, not sure of his destination just yet. Or her, the one you left.

He was protecting them, that's the other way he justified everything. And as for her. Well.. he never knew her. What he kept telling himself...

--------------------------------------

Later on in the hotel room, he laid on the bed. He'd already checked everything.

He laid there with his eyes closed and must've drifted off for a moment when a sound interrupted his light doze. The sound of the bathroom door opening.

Sayid immediatly jumped out of bed, grabbing the gun. His body in a tense pose as he went to the bathroom. Throwing the door aside he saw no one in there. And turned around behind him. Nothing.

Stepping into the bathroom carefully yet again, he checked the shower, behind the door, and still found nothing. Taking a breath he put one hand down on the bathroom counter, the other one with the gun, was pressed to his head as if he had a headache. And then looked up in the mirror again, and recoiled, letting out a cry.

She was there. In the mirror. Looking the way she the last time he'd seen her. With a bullet hole in her chest. Her hair wet from the rain. Her accusing eyes burned a hole though him. And he couldn't pull his own eyes away from the mirror.

"You lied..." was all she said.

"Shannon..." he whispered, his throat dry. "I..."

But then she faded. And he turned, and she wasn't there. When he turned back to the mirror she wasn't there either. Putting the gun down on the counter with a trembling hand, he ran his hands through his hair. Thinking that he'd finally lost it. After everything he finally cracked.

He couldn't allow this. Had to stay rational. There was an explanation, a rational one that had nothing to do with concience or guilt. Stuffing the gun back in his pants Sayid went back out in the bedroom, his eyes unconciously darting everywhere and picked up his jacket. He was gonna go see the one person who might be able to explain this.

-----------------------------------------------

Opening the door to the safe house, he saw Hurley sitting their. He almost appeared to be in a conversation and this unnerved Sayid highly, having seen what he just saw and all. Without saying a word, he checked the window and the door, not sure what he was looking for now.

"Another attack of paranoia dude?" Hurley asked, looking up at him. "You need to learn how to relax.."

Sayid turned to him, looking at the empty chair in front of Hurley.

"Who are you talking to now?"

Hurley looked up at him, squinting.

"Thought you didn't believe in this stuff dude.."

"I don't.." Sayid said simply. But part of him wasn't so sure now.

"If you don't then why do you look like you've just seen one?"

Sayid looked at him surprised, but tried to cover it well, continuing to look out the window. It was ridiculous. A hallucination born out of lack of sleep. It had to be. He checked out the window again. Looking out at the street.

"She's been here you know?" Hurley said suddenly. "Was asking about you actually.."

Sayid couldn't hide the suprise or the fear on his face when Hurley said that, looking around the room. Afraid she would appear any minute with her accusing eyes. Told himself it was ridiculous really. There ween't any such things as ghosts.

"Who was here?" he asked, pretending he didn't know.

"Like I have to tell you dude.. you already know cause you've seen her..and maybe instead of hiding from her you should find out what she wants."

Too damn tired to fight, Sayid sat down on the cot and looked at Hurley, for the first time in a long time feeling helpless. And scared shitless. These were not states he was familar with.

"What does she want?"

Hurley shrugged, looking back over at the empty chair.

"Who knows man..maybe they want to talk, or to know we haven't forgotten about them.."

Sayid closed his eyes, remembering the island before he could stop the memory. Remembering how beautiful that girl had been. How she'd briefly made him forget about Nadia. Who was lost now too. Painful memory collapsing onto to painful memory. Feeling himself start to bleed inside a little.

"Whatever it is dude..you can't hide from it.. that's something i've learned pretty well."

He nodded and simply sat there for awhile, Watching Hurley seemingly talk to someone who wasn't there. Sayid briefly wondered who it was.

----------------------------------------

Leaving the safehouse it was getting dark. He walked, he didn't bother with cars, was easier to vanish on your feet. Kept looking around corners as he did so. Thinking of all the times he'd seen her and tried to deny it. Even when he was with Nadia he'd seen her once or twice, but never said a word, tried to tell himself it was his mind playing tricks on him. Was starting to think maybe it wasn't. Going to the park he sat down on a bench, putting his head in his hands, breathing steadily.

After what seemed like an eternity, he lifted his head and saw her standing there a ways away. She was dressed like she was the night he'd brought her to the tent, and it hurt his heart to see it. Not sayin a word, she beckoned with her arm, her blue eyes haunted.

Sayid gave up the fight and got up, thinking it was madness but for some reason was willing to succumb to it. It would be a relief. Following her they finally came to a place where she stopped and turned, her blonde hair flying away from her face. He stared at her for a long time, memories flooding in. Of a place he'd told himself he'd never been.

"Long time no see.." she said to him, leaning against the alley wall.

"You shouldn't be here.." He respneded in a trembling voice., leaning against the opposite wall. "Your dead."

She smiled a little.

"Deads a relative term Sayid.. you should know that, seeing as how your much deader than I am right now."

He couldn't talk anymore, remembering her dying in his arms. First her, then Nadia. The pain was overwhelming. Almost more than he could take.

"You left them.." she told him, moving off the wall and moving closer. "You left me... and you lied about all of it.. for what?"

"To protect them." he said painfully, wanting to run away from her but he couldn't. He had no more strength to run. And he knew she'd follow him. Her eyes would.

"You weren't protecting them.. you were protecting yourselves, cause those people are still in danger.. and you left them to face it alone.. why?" Her voice became more accusing as she got closer. "For peace of mind? For a lives that were and are lies..but even she couldn't give you peace could she?"

"Shannon..please..."

Sayid closed his eyes, knowing she was right. He thought he'd found what he was looking for with Nadia, but just like everything else. It was an illusion. One that had been ripped away. Trying denial again now, he hoped when he opened his eyes she wouldn't be there anymore. The dead girl he'd left on the island. But when he opened them she was still there.

"Did you tell her about me? About us?" she asked, her eyes filled with pain in them now. "You didn't did you? Just lied to her and to yourself all this time."

He slid down the wall, having no strength to stand anymore, and sat there looing up at her.Feeling like this was the final punishment, the final payment for the sin his life had been. Part of him thinking about taking the damn gun out and just taking care of it once and for all. Anything was better than this pain. He watched with vacant eyes as she crouched in front of him, looking at him steadily.

"Did you ever love me? Or was that a lie too?"

Sayid stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. And finally found the voice to answer.

"I didn't lie about that..I did... I do love you.."

Shannon then smiled and reached out her hand, and instead of passing through him he actually felt it's warmth touch his face. He couldn't believe it. She couldn't be here, but she was..really here. And there was forginess in her eyes, which he could barely handle.

"Then stop running..."She said as she stared into his eyes."face it.."

She took his hand and pulled him up to his feet again, and took his face in her hands. She kissed him on the head and then stared into his eyes for a moment. He looked at her unbelieving that he she could touch him. That he could feel it on his skin.

"You need to go back.." she told him, stepping back. "It's the only way to save them..and yourself.. to be whole again."

Shannon started to walk away and the pain came through him again. He went to go after her but she put her hand up to stop him.

"Don't leave me.." he said with pain in his voice. "please not again."

She turned one last time and went back to him, putting her hand in his briefly. When she took it away her necklace was in it, laying on his palm. She smiled at him softly.

"I never left you..and neither has she.." she told him, backing away. "You've never been alone.. we've always been here.."

And then she turned and simply vanished into the dark. Sayid went where she'd been but it was like she was never there. But. she touched him, and when he opened his hand the necklace was still there. And part of him wondered what this meant. All praticality washed away and a tear ran down his face. It was like a revelation.

Stepping out of the alley he stuffed the necklace in his jacket pocket. Feeling as though he'd just been saved in some capacity. Feeling relief as he disappeared in the shadows like he always did. But things were different now. A load off his mind and a brand new purpose. To get back to where they really belonged.

------------------------------------------

He stood in front of the marker, a cool breeze ruffling his clothes slightly as he looked at the inscription on her grave. It read "Died September 22, 2004". Sayid know that was wasn't true. Just like he knew this wasn't her real grave. Cause he'd buried her himself. And he had met her, and loved her.. She had touched his life. She had been imprtant. They all had been. Imprortant enough to remember.

There were no flowers on this grave. He'd found she didn't much family left, not too many remember her but he would. He wouldn't abandon her again, even though he knew she wasn't really here. So he bent down and put one there, laying it over her name and smiled a little. Thinking that salavation and forgiveness came in the nost unlikely places.

As he stepped out of the graveyard, and out onto the street he pulled out the necklace and held it up in his hand. And looked in the distance, and thought he saw a turn of blonde hair and that familar smile, which instead of scaring him, gave him comfort now. Remembering the way she'd made him laugh and smile. Remembering that life had been beautiful once.

He put the necklace back in his pocket and pulled his phone out. Dialing a familar number. And when the prerson on the other end picked it up he had one thing to say.

"We have to go back.." he told the person on the other end as he walked. "It's the only way.."