The LOST Writers' Island

Chapter 4
Comfort and Ghosts

Desmond enters the house quietly.  He can hear her cries coming from the living room area.  He doesn't know what he's going to say to her, but he knows he has to do something.  He's all she has right now and he thinks this is all his fault anyway.    He crosses the room to her, watching her body shake with sobs.  It's tearing him up inside and he pulls her against his chest and holds her as she cries, trying to comfort her.

Claire feels like her life has ended.  Not only has she lost Charlie, but now she's lost her child too.  And this is worse.  It hurts so deeply and so badly, she can barely think or breathe in between sobs.  She feels Desmond hold her to his chest and she lets him.  She doesn't have any fight left and isn't sure she would try to stop him even if she did.  They have formed a bond out of pain over the past month or so and she clings to him, needing his comfort, his presence.  She cries until she has no tears left, just a broken down body lying in his arms.

Desmond holds her tight, smoothing out her golden hair and rubbing her back.  He knows it won't make it better, but anything he can do to ease the pain at least a little.  Soon she has stopped crying and has simply gone limp in his arms.  "Claire," he says softly, wondering if she's just cried herself out or if she's cried herself to sleep.

She raises her head and looks at him through tear stained eyes, her soul on display.  "I can't go on," she chokes out, having totally given up.  "Desmond, I can't go on without my baby."  She wants to cry more, but there are no more tears and she buries her head against his chest sadly.

He lifts her head, hand under her chin.  "We're going to get him back Claire.  I promise you.  We're going to stay here until you heal completely.  Then we're going back to the beach and we're all going to figure out how to get off this island and get you back to Aaron."  Desmond looks into her eyes.  He wants her to know that he meant what he said.

Claire looks up at him into his soft brown eyes.  She wants to believe him, but her heart is just too broken.  "I just want to be alone right now, okay?" she says, her voice still shaky.

"Okay," he says knowing he won't be far in case she needs him.  "I'll fix us some supper and bring it to you later," he says as she walks toward the bedroom she has been using.

Claire falls onto the bed, kicking her shoes off and crawls under the covers, pulling herself into a ball and closing her eyes.  A few hours later Desmond brings her supper and she tells him she doesn't want to eat, that she's not hungry.  He asks her to please eat something, but she tells him that she can't.  He leaves the food for her just in case, but she knows she won't touch it.  She stays in the bed, her mind numb from the pain and before long she is sound asleep.

Desmond goes to check on Claire before he turns in for the night.  He peeks his head in the door to her room and finds her sleeping, curled tightly in a ball.  He wants to walk over and hold her, comfort her, but he thinks that would be pushing the limits of their relationship and returns to his own room and readies for bed.  He thinks about her constantly: dreams about her, worries about her, hopes for her.  He feels wrong feeling that way about her though.  She's lost so much, too much, and it's all his fault he thinks.

This cycle continues for several days: Desmond asking her to eat, Claire refusing and staying in bed numb with pain, Desmond wanting to comfort her and not knowing how.  It goes on and on.  She eventually eats, but only because he forces her, saying she'll need her strength when they trek to the other side of the island and make plans to find the 6 who left.  She's so tired of being numb, but has no idea how to make it stop.

Desmond stands in her room and talks to her every day.  Sometimes she talks back for a short while and sometimes she just stares at the wall.  What he doesn't know is that she's always listening.  The only thing that gives her any hope or breaks through her wall of numbness and pain is him.  She wants to reach out to him, but holds herself back every time.  Her feelings for him have grown ten fold during their time on this side of the island.  She thinks about him constantly and even dreams about him some nights.  She gets mad at herself for this though and tries to stop, but she can't. 

Desmond has just cleaned up the kitchen from fixing their dinner one night and stops by Claires room on his way to bed.  "Claire, how was the soup?" he asks sticking his head in her door.

"It was good," she says looking up at his form in the doorway.  "Thank you."  She curls back under the covers and retreats behind her wall of numbness and pain not knowing what else to do.

"You're welcome," Desmond says, taking this as his cue to leave.  He grabs her empty soup bowl, thankful that she at least ate it and drops it in the kitchen sink on his way to his own room.  He sinks onto his own bed thinking maybe he should get a shower, but decides against it and turns all the lights off save the small lamp next to his bed.  He picks up a book that must have belonged to the previous inhabitant and begins to read, not yet tired enough to sleep.

Claire drifts into a restless sleep.  She dreams of Aaron and Desmond and Charlie and everything that has happened on the island.  Suddenly, a deep, but soothing voice calling her name drifts into her dream. 

"Claire."

It doesn't belong there and she realizes this, bringing herself out of her dream and into the waking world.  She hears it again.

"Claire."

She stirs and begins to look for the source of the voice.  It doesn't sound like Desmond, maybe she's just imagining things.  But as soon as she thinks that, her eyes begin to make out a shadowy form occupying the rocking chair in the corner of the room.  She hears the voice yet again.

"Glad to see you awake there kiddo.  I thought you'd never wake up."

Claire scrambles to sit up, pulling the cover up around her while squinting to see who this is talking to her.  Her eyes adjust to the darkness and she sees him, her jaw dropping open and her eyes growing wider.  "Dad?"   Her eyes blink, trying to make sure what she's seeing is real.  "Is that you?"

Christian smiles slightly.  "Yeah kiddo, it's me."

"What are you doing here?" Claire asks.  She should be scared but there's something extremely calming in both his voice and his presence.  He's dressed in more casual clothes than the last time she saw him, jeans, a button up shirt, and work boots.

"I came to see you.  Claire, you need to know that Aaron is okay.  You're going to see him again.  I promise.  It won't be long, but it has to be this way."  Christian speaks these words like they are the most natural thing in the world, like he knows this without a doubt and she wants to believe it, but just can't.

"How can you say that?  You're not even here.  I'm just dreaming!  You don't know this!"  Claire is becoming more and more frantic as she talks.

"I am here, Claire.  You're not dreaming and I do know this.  I'll see you soon kiddo.  Take care."  He smiles again at her and this time its a full smile, warm and reassuring.

Claire blinks and he's gone.  She scrambles out of bed and runs over to the rocking chair, searching for any sign of her father.  Claire pinches herself hard.  "Ouch!"  Damn it, she's awake.  She's seeing things, she knows she is.  Oh God, she's going crazy.

Suddenly Claire is scared and worried.  She begins to cry.  Without thinking twice, she runs into Desmond's room and shakes him awake.  "Desmond!  Desmond, wake up!"

He groggily turns to look at her.  "Claire?"  He slowly takes in her worried and scared form.  Desmond hurriedly sits up, the sheet falling away from his bare chest.  "Claire, are you okay?"

She kneels in front of him, tears trailing down her face.  "Desmond, I'm going crazy!  I've lost my mind!"

"Lass," he says reaching down to wrap his arms around her and pull her up onto the edge of the bed.  "What makes you say that?"

"I'm seeing things Desmond."  She takes a big breath in between tears.  "I saw my Dad.  Desmond, there's no way he could be here.  No way he could be on this island.  I've lost my mind!"  She starts crying heavier now.

He holds her tight to his chest, wrapping both arms around her.  "Lass, it's okay.  You've been through a lot.  You're not losing your mind.  Besides, on this crazy island anything can happen."

"I am Desmond.  Ive lost it." Claire cries harder, her body shaking, as her salty tears trace down his bare chest.  She wraps her arms around him tighter, seeking comfort from her pain.  She can't take this any more, the blinding numbness, the heartache and pain and now going crazy.  She has to find some relief or she is going over the deep end.

He runs his fingers through her hair and rocks her slightly in his arms.  "It's going to be okay lass.  I promise."

Claire raises her head to look him in the eyes.  She sees so much in his dark brown, soulful gaze.  There's compassion, caring and something else.  It's that something else that draws her in.  She needs this, needs the comfort he can provide.

Desmond looks into her hurting baby blues.  There's so much pain there and he just wants to take it away, to make it all better.  He's drawn in and forgets everything but her.

They move closer and closer until their lips lightly touch in a soft, warm kiss.  It feels so good and the world simply seems to melt away around them.  She deepens the kiss, needing all the comfort he can provide.  Her tongue slides into his mouth and she sighs, lost in this kiss, lost in him.

He pulls her into his lap, holding her as close as humanly possible.  Desmond's tongue slides against hers and he groans, swearing there was electricity coursing through him at that moment.  Her fingers tangle in his hair as she pulls him closer still.  His hands slide along her back and shoulders.

Desmond's brain is screaming for him to stop.  She just lost her child.  She just lost Charlie.  He doesn't want to take advantage of her.  He hasn't felt a woman's touch in over 3 years and it feels so amazing.  It's going to take everything he has to stop, but he has to.  He cares about her too much to hurt her.  Desmond pulls away breathless, hands on Claire's face, looking into her soulful blue eyes.  "Claire...I...I can't."

Claire stops him with a finger lightly placed to his lips.  "Shhh"  She knows what he is thinking.  "Do you want this?" she asks softly.  "Because I want this...I need this, Des."  The alternating pain and numbness has become too much.  She needs to feel something good and thats exactly what she feels every time she's around Desmond.

"I do want this," he confesses.  "But I dont want to hurt you."

Claire smiles.  Desmond is so sweet and caring.  "You won't," she says pressing her lips back to his.  Taking his hands in her own, she slides them up under her t-shirt against her stomach.

Desmond's hands touch her soft, flat stomach, feeling her muscles ripple against his rough hands.  His hands push up further as his tongue explores her mouth, slipping her shirt up and off as he goes.  Desmond's hands move over her breasts and around her back, drawing a sigh from her body.  He unhooks her bra and she helps him slide it off.

Claire feels his hands cup her breasts, his thumbs grazing her erect nipples.  She moans into his kiss with each swipe of his thumb.  It's been a year since she's been touched like this, but even then it wasn't quite like this.

He pulls away, soulful brown eyes meeting sparkling blue.  His mouth goes down to kiss along her creamy white breast.  Desmond kisses the top, sides, and underside before taking the nipple in his mouth, sucking softly.

Claire's head falls back as a jolt of electricity runs straight from her nipple to her womanhood which is growing increasingly wetter.  Her fingers grasp at his hair as he moves to show the same attention to the other breast.

His hands move up her back, pulling her closer to him.  After giving each breast equal attention he pulls away with a smile on his face.  Desmond stands her up in front of him and quickly removes her jeans and panties, letting them fall to the floor alongside her shirt.  He leans back on the bed slightly, taking in her naked form.  "Oh Claire, you are absolutely beautiful."

Claire blushes deeply.  She reaches down and helps him up, her hands moving along the waistband of his pants, reaching to undo them.  She lets them slide to the floor before slipping her hands under the edge of his boxers and dragging them off his hips.  They quickly join his pants on the floor.  His cock has grown long and hard and springs free as she lowers them.  Her breath catches in her throat as she catches her first sight of him totally naked.  "God Des, you're amazing."

With one swift move, he swings her into his arms and lays her softly on the bed before joining her there.  His body presses down against Claire's as he kisses a trail along her chin and neck.  His hand moves down to stroke her soft curls before slowly pushing them aside and touching her velvety folds.  Desmond's finger brushes against her sensitive nub and she gasps, begging him for more.  He kisses the hollow of her throat, feeling her pulse race just beneath the surface.  He's so hard it hurts.

Moving her hands along his shoulder and back, Claire begins nibbling on Desmond's ears.  Her hips begin to rock against his hand as she grows closer and closer to the edge.  Before long, she shudders, gasping loudly and cries out as she clenches and comes.  "I want to feel you inside of me," she whispers hoarsely as she reaches down between them to guide him into her velvety folds.

Desmond groans loudly and burries his head against her shoulder as he slides inside her depths and begins to rock against her body.  Moving faster and faster he presses his body against her as their tongues battle for control in a heated, passionate kiss.  At this rate, he isn't going to last long.  Desmond stills momentarily, trying to regain some control.

Claire whimpers and rocks her body against his, urging him on.  But once she realizes what he's doing, she becomes still and pulls away from their kiss.  Her hand caresses his face softly as he begins to regain control.  She smiles and her eyes sparkle, more brilliant than any diamond.

Once he regains control, Desmond begins to move inside of her again using long, deep strokes.  "Claire," he groans as her body arches up to meet his every thrust.

"Oh Des!" she cries out as he moves to suck on her nipples again, thrusting deeper inside of her.  The combined sensations of his sucking and thrusting quickly drive her over the edge.  Her fingers grip at his back as she arches up into him, shuddering as she clenches and comes.  "Des...Des...Des..."

The feel of her clenching around his throbbing cock and calling out his name in this moment of ultimate passion pushes him to the point of no return.  He calls out her name as he empties himself inside of her.  "Claire!"

They collapse into each others arms.  Claire looks into his eyes, panting and they both smile softly, basking in the afterglow.  Desmond pulls the covers up around them as Claire, mentally and physically exhausted, drifts off to sleep.  A feeling of extreme protectiveness washes over him as he silently promises to keep her safe and reunite her and Aaron.