The LOST Writers' Island

It Has Nothing To Do With Us

The strain’s of Trace Adkin’s song “You’re Gonna Miss This” played on the boom box in the bedroom as he sat on the bed looking at the various things that lined the walls and the window sill.  This was something he’d never done before and had absolutely no idea how to handle.

James had known everything there ever was to know about how to work a con, how to bend a woman to his will, but this one, this woman, he couldn’t control her.  Twenty-three years ago he lost his heart to her.  From the first second he saw her, he had fallen in love with her and here it was so many years later and he still loved her, everything about her.

But now it was over.  The closet was empty.  The bed was made and she would never sleep in it again.  The sadness had set in and James couldn’t get over it.  He couldn’t stop the memories from flooding his mind as he looked around the empty room.  It was like she’d never lived there at all. 

He pulled a little at the tie and the collar that was around his neck.  He hated it.  He hated being all dressed up, but he had to admit the black suit was nice on him.  It’d been a long time since he’d worn a suit.  Not that he minded wearing one, but he absolutely hated the premise for why he was wearing it today.  It wasn’t a celebration of her life, it was a right of passage that took her away from him.

James got up and looked out the window.  They had come back from the island so many years ago and James had gone completely straight for her.  He had to make a life for her and the only way he could do it was to take the money he’d had and put it all into making a real life.  She deserved that.  She deserved a real life. And he would move heaven and hell to get it for her.  And so he did.

James walked around looking at all her things that she’d left behind.  Perhaps one of these days when things calmed down he’d pack them up and put them all out in the barn or something but right now he left them right where they were.  Maybe if he left them there, the by some miracle she would come back and sleep in that bed again.  It was a dream, he knew but he couldn’t help thinking about it.

He opened the drawers and looked through her things.  He found the cute little t-shirts she wore all the time.  He looked at the little hair clips and rubber bands that she pulled her brown locks up with when she was doing things around the house.  He reached and picked up a perfume bottle that was on the dresser and opened it.  It was the one she always wore.  It smelled just like her and the scent hung in the room like a ghost that couldn’t be exorcized.

A single tear rolled down his face as he thought about what he knew he had to go downstairs and do right now.  He had to say goodbye.  He had to pretend he was being strong and even somewhat happy.  No one wanted to see him blubbering.

Juliet slowly opened the door.  “James?”

He quickly wiped his face.  “Yea?”  He asked.

“It’s time James.”  She said.

He sighed and closed his eyes, putting down the perfume bottle.  “Don’t wanna do this Julie.”  He said.

She walked up and put her hand on his face.  “I know you don’t James, but you have to.  She deserves this.” 

Juliet knew her husband well.  She knew how this was on him and how much he was hurting.  “It has nothing to do with us, James.  It’s about her.”  Juliet said.  “And she deserves this.  You have to do this for her.”

“I know, but I ain’t exactly rollin’ 7’s with the idea.”  James said.

“I know darlin’.”  She said, wrapping her arms around him and holding him.  “But you can do this.  I know you can.  I’ll be right there in the pew next to you.”

He sighed again.  “Guess we better put on a happy face and try to get through it huh?”

“It’ll be over soon James.  I promise honey, by this time tomorrow, it’ll all be just a memory.”  She said.

“I guess.  I ain’t into the sappy shit anyways.”  He said.  He kissed her softly.  “C’mon.”

Juliet smiled at him and stroked his stubbly cheek.  He tried so hard to pretend he didn’t care.  “Let’s go get this over with.”

They walked down the stairs and then into the entrance of the church.  James stood there in his black suit, stopping for a second to look at the stunning array of flowers that covered the front of the church.  Roses, all roses.  Her favorite.  The soft organ music played as he waited to go in.

A voice snapped him out of his thoughts.  “Daddy?  It’s time.”  She said.  Savannah Lee Ford walked toward him, her dress swishing as she walked.  “How do I look?”

James swallowed hard.  If he could barely think with her in that incredibly beautiful wedding gown, then what must Aaron be thinking as he waited at the altar for her.  Aaron, Aaron who had been born Aaron Littleton, but through another strange twist of fate and his mothers marriage to Desmond Hume, became Aaron Hume.  “You’re stunnin’ baby.”  He whispered, and kissed her cheek.  “Absolutely stunnin’.”

He looked her over and straightened a catch in the hem at the bottom.  “Too bad, your Mama…”

“No Daddy, not even gonna mention her today.  She left us both, besides Juliet’s been more of my mother than what’s her name ever was.” 

Well she had his attitude that was for certain.  “Now come on.  It’s time and you gotta walk me down that aisle.”  James stepped around to her and she took his arm and held her rose bouquet with the other hand. 

“It ain’t fair baby.”  James said as they waited for just the right moment.

“What’s not fair, Daddy?”  She asked.

“I’m a mean old som’bitch, I ain’t supposed to hurt like this.”  He said.  Savannah leaned over and kissed her father’s cheek. 

“I love you too Daddy.”  She said as the music started and before too long she was at the altar and taking Aaron’s arm.  And then, finally when they turned around Savanna Leigh Ford was now Savannah Leigh Hume.

Something deep inside James began to hurt.