He came back with a small smile on his face. A smile that reminded him of her. Something he knew he could share with her, like Jin was able to share with Sun, and Charlie with Claire. But Sawyer knew when he came back with the rest of them, that she was gone. His Kate had left him to do the right thing. To save the Doc.
Sitting down outside his tent he opened up another can of beer and gazed out at the ocean. His mind plagued by visions of his last week on this island, how just over 24 hours ago he had almost lost his life, and her. It always came back to her no matter how hard he tried to fight it.
What did she mean when she said an apology would fix it? Fix what? What were they even talking about? The conversation turned over in his mind. And he wanted so desperately to say it. 'Wait' when she turned away and started heading back for camp. 'Wait Kate...(and she would look back at him with her stormy green eyes, and he would almost forget what they were arguing about, what had built back up between them but then he saw her determination and nothing he could say or do would change the fact that she was about to leave him. Even he knew that.
Sawyer told himself, things were easier this way; make a clean break, no regrets, no future. He had never had a future to think of actually. Life always revolved around his next con, his next fix or prize to be won. He had won Kate for one night, all his dreams and fantasies had come true, and it was amazing, but for the first time, he was scared about what she could do to him. He didnt think it was possible to love anyone. He had certainly said the words plenty of times before but he was scared when he said the words to her, that he meant it.
So Sawyer tried to go back to his old life. Finding comfort in his stash and the security it offered or didnt offer. But strangely enough, irregardless of whether he got his things back or not, there was a new emptiness that filled his heart. He craved and yearned for her, and there was a hollow feeling now. No one to share stories of the day with, or plot ways to get out of their cages, or kiss in the rock quarry. Kate had left him to save Jack.
Being particularly on edge today cause certain people had gotten under his skin again (which had been happening a lot lately,) Sawyer made his way back to his woodpile. Whenever he felt frustrated or angry or just plain crazy, he could find solace in chopping back a few cords of wood. Today was no different.
A few minutes later, Hurley came trouncing up to him. Sawyer was in no mood to chat and barked back at the young man...
"Beat it Lardo...You and Jimmeny Cricket got everything out of my stash worth takin, I got nothin left to steal..."
Hurley didnt listen to Sawyer and took a seat on one of the larger fallen logs within the clearing and Sawyer shot him a glare...
"Didnt you hear me? I said scram...I aint in no mood to converse or go ridin in your hippiemobile"
Hurley just shook his head...
"Dude, whats your problem? You just got back from god knows where, nobody knows what they did to you, or how exactly you and Kate escaped, but the rumor is you both almost died, and here you are acting like a stupid ass hole yet again... (Sawyer met his glare challengingly) Dont you think you should be the least bit grateful man?"
Sawyer shook his head and set down his axe meeting Hurley's gaze...
"I got nothin to be thankful for...They should have killed me back there...Woulda saved Freckles and the Doc alot of trouble..."
Hurley frowned and shook his head, taking an unusually serious tone...
"So thats it? You just want to die then huh? You dont care about any of these people here, just want to give up and end it all? None of it meant anything to you?"
Sawyer narrowed his gaze and met Hurleys questioning glare with a salty stare...
"Guess not!"
Hurley stood up, clearly upset over the whole thing...
"Dude, youre an idiot!"
Sawyer watched him thinking he would exit the clearing now and leave him be, but Hurley turned back around and asked him...
"You know the worst part? (Hurley paused for a moment and Sawyer shook his head not sure what or how to answer that) The worst part is, Libbies dead now! I think I loved her and shes gone and never coming back...She never got a second chance, but you did, and you dont even want yours..."
Sawyer was about to open his mouth in reply when Hurley stomped off. He closed his eyes in regret and leaned back against the tree. Hurleys words ringing true in his mind and working their way under his skin. Feeling that pit form in his stomach, Sawyer felt the empty hollow sinking feeling and suddenly felt sick.
Strangely enough, he didnt care about his words or death threats to Hurley; his biggest regret was not saying he was sorry to Kate. She offered him an olive branch that day, and he couldnt take it. He didnt think he deserved one. And now it was too late.
Three days and one ping pong match later went by and still no word. He had to do everything in his power not to go out after them. After all, it was Freckles. She could take care of herself. She had Locke and Sayid with her and she didnt need him. He would just get in the way.
At least thats what Sawyer told himself; during all the distractions that had taken place here at the beach over the past couple days. It had been far from peaceful, but at least it was safer then being out there. Nothing could get rid of that pit, no matter how hard he tried. No amount of beer or looking over his playboys even could cheer him up.
Which didnt help his worries when Sawyer saw Locke back on the beach that day. Locke was alone. Last he checked, he was supposed to be with Sayid and Kate.
Sawyer shot up out of his chair and marched over to Locke 'Where is she?' he wanted to ask, but still afraid of the answer instead he enquired...
"What happened?"
Locke looked back at Sawyer tiredly and stated plainly after catching a swig from his water bottle...
"It seems that Jack made other arrangements that did not include us, so we decided to come back?"
Sawyers head was spinning...
"We? Where's Kate? Where's Sayid? What other arrangements?"
Locke looked at Sawyer questioningly and suddenly noticed something...
"Youre not calling people by your nicknames...Why James?"
Sawyer just rolled his eyes...
"Who the hell cares, what happened out there?...Where is everyone?" ('Where is Kate,' his mind screamed)
"Kate and Sayid stopped off at the Pearl Station to use the first aid kit"
"She's hurt?" Sawyer asked worriedly.
Locke just shook his head...
"Not badly, Sayid was shot, they just needed to clean up his wound, it was taken care of a couple days ago, and Kate has a small gash on her side that needed to be bandaged up."
Sawyer swallowed, closing his eyes in dread. She could have been shot, he could have lost her. They had the battle scars to prove it.
Almost a little afraid now and apprehensive, Sawyer wondered if he should see her or keep his distance. It was easy enough for him to want to see her, but on the other hand, was it good for Kate for him to be there. After all, he didnt think he was on her favorite persons list. Locke easily settled the dispute however meeting Sawyers gaze...
"If youre going back there can you tell them that I have an idea how we can get that boat back...I owe them that much..."
Sawyer looked back at Locke questioningly wondering why Locke thought he owed Kate and Sayid anything and then he headed for the Pearl station.
This hatch was not as accommodating as the first place, but it did have a shower and a couch. And as creepy as these underground doomsday chambers were, it was nice to still have some of the bare necessities. Things they couldnt have back in their tents at the beach.
Sawyer nearly ran into Sayid on his way through the door...
"Damn Moh... (Sawyer caught himself) Mean Sayid...You always in a hurry after just bein shot?"
Sayid smiled when he saw Sawyer...
"I see you have spoken with John already then..."
Sawyer nodded...
"Yeah we talked...So the Doc left you all high and dry then huh? Didnt think he had it in him..."
Sayid watched Sawyer curiously and replied...
"So it seems..."
"Well aint that just like our golden boy...I tried to tell Kate..." Sawyer retorted.
Sayid met his gaze knowingly and answered him...
"I still think there is more to it, but they made it abundantly clear that it was in everyones best interest to part ways right now...It looks like Jack has sided with them...And until I can find the upper hand...we have no choice but to entertain their requests..."
Sawyer nodded. A moment of silence passed between them and then Sawyer finally asked...
"Kate still here?"
Sayid nodded and gestured back behind him...
"Yes she's still cleaning up; I believe she's in the restroom..."
"She get cut up pretty bad?" Sawyer asked trying to mask his concern...
Shaking his head Sayid answered...
"No most of it is just superficial thankfully..."
Sawyer started back down the main hallway, when Sayid excused himself. Remembering what Locke asked suddenly, Sawyer called after him...
"Sayid! Locke said he has an idea on how to get the boat back"
Sayid just nodded and answered looking down at the ground for a minute before answering...
"Thank you Sawyer!"
Sawyer headed towards the restroom. He didnt hear the shower running or see Kate outside, figuring she must still be inside getting dressed, Sawyer looked around the hatch. There were a couple books and board game sets along the walls and he nervously flipped up the broken lids to see if all the pieces were still in tact. The Monopoly board looked like it was in good shape but the Sorry game was missing a lot of pieces.
Suddenly Sawyer had the feeling like he was being watched and he turned around to find Kate there wearing nothing but a towel. Sawyer blinked, his heart pounding and for once, he didnt have a witty one liner or something sassy to toss out, completely tongue tied he swallowed hard.
"Sawyer? (Kate met his gaze puzzled) What are you doing here?"
Kate had been just as troubled as Sawyer in these last few days. It wasnt easy for her to go off on the rescue mission for Jack while leaving things left the way they were with Sawyer, but she was too afraid at the time to face him. She was so confused, feeling like what they shared was something more, but then Sawyer just stomped all over it, accusing her of doing it all for pities sake. On one hand it angered Kate and on the other, she couldnt stay mad. Not sure where her feelings fell, she was definitely left in a state of discontent. And leaving him and it all behind didnt help things like she thought it would. In fact after everything that had just happened to them over the past few days with Jack and the Others, leaving Sawyer the way she did made her feel even worse.
He looked at the scratches on her neck with concern and followed the line of her skin down past the towel where he imagined the other nicks were located, and he asked...
"You okay?"
Kate pursed her lip self consciously and nodded feeling like a little girl again. And she whispered...
"Yeah...fine"
Sawyer nodded and then met her gaze...
"Guess the Doc wasnt very receptive to your rescue mission was he?"
A wave of sadness washed over her face and Sawyer watched her. Taking it all in, he wondered if Kate went back for Jack and he turned her down. But for some reason, he didnt want Kate to be hurt by it; he wanted to comfort her...
"Dont beat yourself up over it Kate...When he's made up his mind theres no changing it...Time will heal your wounds..."
Kate looked up at him sadly. He should have just called her a hypocrite, or she at least deserved a hearty 'I told you so.' But he didnt do that this time, and she wondered why, watching him curiously. She batted her eyes back at him confused...
"Im not beating myself up over it...Ill be able to live with myself tomorrow..."
Kate was talking about in opposition to Jack who betrayed them all, but Sawyer missed the translation, thinking she was talking about him...
"Yeah, guess when you get down to the quick of things, thats all that matters..."
Sawyer met her gaze sadly, feeling like he would never be enough for her, wondering why he kept torturing himself by going back for more. And he slowly turned away as Kate nodded in agreement and then she caught his arm realizing he was leaving...
"Sawyer?"
She searched his eyes not knowing how to say what she wanted to say. She was so scared, and Sawyer thought she was trying to apologize for what they did. He met her gaze shaking his head...
"You dont have to Kate...We've already been through this...I know youre sorry we did it..."
He looked down at the floor sadly and Kate tried to meet his gaze pleadingly...
"What?" She asked surprised...Some of the fire was coming back now heating up her skin...
"I never said I was sorry Sawyer... (She paused for a moment) And neither did you...For not taking it back..."
Sawyer met her gaze confused, forgetting about the stupid nickname rule...
"C'mon Freckles...Stop yankin my chain...I know you went back for the Doc cause you think hes a better man than I am..."
Kate looked at him like he was crazy, her voice rising...
"I went back for Jack because he risked his life to save Yours Sawyer!!! Or did you forget about that?"
Sawyer shook his head...
"Dont"
"Dont what?" Kate demanded.
"Dont do this! (Sawyer raised his voice too now) I was second choice and you know it!"
There was a fire in her eyes...
"You were my first choice...And you still are James!"
The air in the room could have spontaneously combusted at that moment with the heated glares they were sending each other.
Resolving to do something about it, the bind around Sawyers heart snapped and he grabbed Kate kissing her fiercely and passionately. Their hands all over one another, like two moths to a flame. Unable to deny each other what they had craved for so long Sawyer pulled Kate along back to the bathroom
"Why dont we go back and make sure that showers workin Freckles, I want to take a look at those marks..."
Kate smiled up at him, drunken by his kiss...
"You were worried about me?"
He slowly moved his hands to the part in her towel and pried the folds apart, the light piece of material peeling away and falling to her feet.
"Course I was...Any man who'd let his girlfriend run off into the twilight zone jungle armed with the republican guard and some guy who thinks hes ghandi has to merit some concern..."
Kate smiled and kissed him again, and then she started to unbutton his shirt...
"I missed you Sawyer... (catching herself) I mean James..."
Sawyer smirked...
"Gonna use that name often Sassafras?"
Kate smiled and unbuttoned his pants...
"As often as I can James..."
Sawyer thought he would save the story about the little name thing for another time. Would most likely kill the moment. But for some strange reason, he didnt mind it as much when Kate called him James.
They danced around each other, Sawyer reaching for the shower nozzle turning it on and Kate tugged at his pants. They finally were completely undressed and Kate stepped inside pulling Sawyer up next to her.
He ran his hands gently over the sides of her breasts and carefully around the bandages...
"Does it hurt?"
Kate met his concerned Kate and shook her head...
"No...you feel really good..."
Sawyers dimples deepened...
"Well darlin, Im just gettin started..."
As he bent down to kiss her again his hard full length rose up pressing against and in-between her thighs. Kate moaned starting to get wet from his touch. She had only done it once with Sawyer, but that one time was enough to make her forget all her other lovers. She craved him finding that she had never been with another man who had left her so sexually satisfied before. Even in the tight uncomfortable compounds of the cage, he made her feel like a beautiful loved woman. Everything around them had melted away.
Just like now with the droning of the pattering water and Kate felt him latch onto her breast with his mouth. He felt so good, and what he was doing left her so heated for him. Kate nudged her legs open a little wider inviting him in, the mere thought of Sawyer inside her almost sending her over the edge and then he dipped his hard shaft into her folds, letting it rest there just under the surface.
Kate moaned in painful pleasure, wanting him to penetrate her fully, but he used his hand and reached down to excite her and engorge her fully before he pushed in all the way. Finally allowing Kate the sexual ecstasy she craved, he thrusted in and pulled out. Kate wrapped her legs around his hips and he pressed her up against the wet hard tile wall and pushed into her again and again and again.
Finally allowing both their releases to come, Kate slinked back down against the wall, resting her bottom on the shower floor. Sawyer bent his knees to join her but Kate held her arm out gesturing for him to stay up. She started kissing his cock, trailing a line down his hard shaft, tasting the dewy beads around his head, she ran her hand delicately over it, and then sunk him into her mouth. He was so hard. And she could tell that watching her with her mouth on him was making him crazy. His hands ran through her hair, bracing himself against the wall as she bobbed her mouth over him. "Oh god" he shouted. Feeling like he was ready to burst Kate grabbed him in her hands and rubbed over him, allowing him the release he craved and he shot his white milky fluid out over her breasts.
Kate rubbed it over her skin, feeling highly aroused by it all, dipping and pushing the white fluid into the vee between her thighs. She craved him like no other man.
Sawyer cleaned her off with his mouth allowing her the same release she offered him with his tongue, Kate screamed his name, his real name, and he resolved to finish the job in the bedroom. Using the rest of their time in here to devour one another totally and completely. Obliging to one anothers every wish and fantasy while exploring and learning one anothers bodies, they made sweet passionate love.
After a few hours, and people started to wonder where Sawyer mysteriously disappeared off to and why Kate hadnt come back with Locke and Sayid, they lay there clasped in each others arms. Sawyer looked down and kissed Kates forehead stating plainly...
"Im sorry Freckles..."
Kate smiled and stretched up to kiss him, replying softly...
"Well Im not James...."
Kate wasnt sorry for any of it, but she didnt have to tell the man laying next to her that--He already knew.
He couldnt stop kissing her. No matter how badly he wanted to breathe, he wanted to kiss her more. Lips full and parted offering up a warmth and sweet taste just for him. He ran his thumb over her tender breast stifling a moan from her as he opened his eyes to look at her.
In the dim light, Sawyer couldnt exactly tell, but from the flush of her cheeks and the way she smiled, it looked like Kate was actually blushing. Sawyer smirked and kissed her tender mouth softly once more...
"You blushin Freckles? (His dimples deepened thinking it was very cute, but he wanted to toy with her just a bit more...) Didnt take you as the shy type..."
Kate smiled her crimson cheeks turning even redder. She knew with Sawyer, sex would never be just sex. Oddly enough she didnt want it to be. And it surprised her still that he could make love to her with such precision, such caring consideration, and such passion. She clenched her arms more tightly around him, but angled her face down so he couldnt see her expression, resting her cheek on his chest. Still uncomfortable with putting her feelings into words. But she knew they were there, and that she made the choice with her heart and not her head for once.
Sawyer wouldnt take her silence as an answer this time though and he tipped her chin up to look at him. His gaze filled with concern...
"You okay?"
Kate searched his eyes for any doubts any resignations for what they just did, but there was none, and she felt relief. She traced her fingers lightly over his chest and he cupped his hand around hers. Kate smiled at this small gesture and looked up at him.
"Yes Sawyer...Im just trying to get my breath back..."
He smirked, looking back down at her...
"Yeah puddin pop...You and me both...The way you did that thing...and that other part...Woo boy, I never thought...(he acted mystified) and how did you bend like that?"
Kates face was redder then a cherry and she smacked him on the chest...
"Stop that Sawyer!"
Sawyer smirked. He knew he was baiting her but it was just so damn fun to get a reaction out of Kate. Realizing her change in name for him...
"So its Sawyer again now is it?"
Kate knew now that she got more then she bargained for with him. He was far more then just a handful. She met his gaze nodding...
"Yes its Sawyer again..."
Kate decided that she would reserve the use of his real name for the special times. She was after all used to calling him Sawyer. In a strange way, it fit him. And not in the way he wanted it to. But she knew who Sawyer was now...and it wasnt as scary now.
Sawyer smirked...
"Well I dont care what you call me Freckles...As long as you keep doing to me what you just did, then you can call me Saint Jack for all I care..."
Kate cracked a smile and looked at him mischievously...
"Never know Tex...Maybe Id get off on that sort of thing..."
Sawyers eyes shifted uncomfortably.
She beamed her Cheshire cat grin at him, suddenly feeling bad, because he genuinely looked like he had doubts about their success in the bedroom and Kate replied in an assuring tone...
"Of course Southern Perverts can be quite tempting to..."
Sawyer smirked, having a pretty good idea on what she was doing and he rolled Kate over onto her back...
"Well I guess well just have to test that theory out then wont we Sassafras..."
Kate lay under him opening herself up to him...
"By all means Tex, test away"
She closed her eyes in hungry anticipation as his fullness pushed inside her. Their verbal foreplay already making her wet and wanting.
Encompassing him, he moved slow finding his rhythm inside her. She could feel every inch of him as he sunk down further into her, till finally reaching the end as he started his incline back to the surface. The pleasure was agonizingly torturous for Kate and she moved under him frantically trying to get him to go faster, but he maintained his pace. She could feel her orgasm build up, but he was drawing it out. She had a feeling Sawyer definitely knew what he was doing, he was quite the heavyweight in the arena of sex as she clenched her jaw adjusting to his full size.
Sawyer watched Kate, her eyes were closed and her body was moving with him, locked with him as they pushed upwards, the pillows under her head pressing against the backboard...
Kate was starting to get light headed and she no longer could hear or see anything outside of her and Sawyers panting and heavy breathing. He was making her moan and she moaned louder and louder still as he hit her core over and over. Kate could feel the waves build up but they werent getting any heavier, falling into the rhythm of pleasure with Sawyer she nearly lost consciousness the drawn out pleasure was so consuming...
Then she felt his mouth on her ear and he whispered as his lips brushed against her skin...
"Open your eyes Freckles!"
Kate did as he asked and she saw him hover over her, his sharp blue eyes catching everything her soft green eyes said. She saw into him, his lost tortured soul and the need and love in his gaze. And she shared that same need, the same feelings. It was all very primal and she had never watched someone so intimately before. It was as if their souls had conjoined along with their bodies.
He moved inside her a little faster now, finally wanting to give her the release he knew she so desperately craved. Kates eyes opened a little wider when she felt his thumb press into her clit over his moving cock.
Screaming his name in excitement, she exclaimed...
"Sawyer!!!!"
It was as if heaven and earth collided and it was all happening inside her body. Kate had never felt anything so erotic, so consuming, and so unbelievably amazing.
"OH GODDD!!!!!!"
He smiled watching Kate have what was probably the loudest orgasm of her life. She wasnt as vocal in the shower and part of him was relieved she could maintain her modesty, cause this sure wouldnt have been a private show at the beach.
In her final clenches, Sawyer finally let himself go, taking the torch from her as he poured himself into her hot molten core. It was pure cosmic bliss. And his body coursed with pleasure.
Sawyer collapsed onto his side trying to catch his breath back, his body still vibrating. Kate was still radiating from his heat. She had never experienced anything like that. Her heart was beating so fast and she looked over at Sawyer in a balmy sweat.
He just flashed his dimples and replied...
"Still want to compare me to the Doc, Freckles?"
Her whole body was tingling and she felt like if he touched her, a small fire would ignite that exact spot. Shaking her head, breathlessly she answered...
"No...I think the test results were conclusive beyond reasonable doubt Cowboy!"
Sawyer smirked and smiled smugly over at her...
"Thought youd say that..."
Kate smiled and reached up to kiss him, their bodies intertwined. Never wanting to leave the sanctity of his embrace.
Sawyer chuckled once they were up again and dressing...
"So, you wanna make a date next time or will we have to wait for another escape from Alcatraz, blockheads demise, getaway canoe that would disgrace even Herby the love bug, 2 days of walking ending with a damn dart stuck in my shoe, and a rescue mission for Saint Jack, to do this all over again?"
Kate smiled at him. He sure did have a way with words, she thought. Deciding to put him on the spot she replied...
"I think a date would be nice actually? Where were you planning on taking me Tex?"
Sawyer looked over at her not expecting her to call him out on the date thing. But she did and now he had to do some quick thinking...
"Ah... (Deciding to cover up his tracks, he replied...) Well thats gotta be a surprise Sassafras...Wouldnt be any fun if it wasnt..."
He smiled at her flashing his award winning pair.
"Those are lethal you know..." Kate was referring to his dimples...
Sawyer smiled even bigger..."Yeah...I know Freckles..."
She watched Sawyer, who was finishing up the buttons on his shirt. Thinking how surreal this all was. Not even a month ago, she was helping him with his physical therapy. A month ago she thought she almost lost him. And even last week, he came so close. She couldnt let him come that close again.
"Come on" She replied.
"Lets get back to the beach...Im sure Locke and Sayid have told everyone that Jacks not coming back by now..."
Sawyers smile faltered and he looked over at her curiously...
"What happened?" He asked...
A wave of sadness passed over her face and then Kate smiled back at him nervously. She couldnt stop thinking about what Jack had done and although she wasnt afraid of the island or the Others but she felt like his betrayal would definitely handicap them all. They were all without a leader now. Sayid told her that he was confident, Jack had an ace up his sleeve, but he was doing a very careful job of hiding it and Kate feared the worst--that he would abandon them all.
But Kate just shook her head...Sawyer creased his brow in frustrated worry. The worst thoughts running through his head. Was she regretting this again? Did something happen to her out there?
Suddenly her anger coming to the surface, she replied coolly...
"He sold us out...Thats what happened! (Meeting Sawyers gaze, she added...) Just like Michael did... (Shaking her head) They found something that he wanted and they got him to work for them...Thats how they operate Sawyer..."
When she wasnt in Sawyers arms, she saw the world differently. It was a cold and cruel world and one that kicked you out on the curb when you were naked and starving. She was used to that actually. Her parents, Sam and Diane treated her the same way. Whats to say it wouldnt happen again? Jack, who she considered a friend and confidant, just did it. Could Sawyer be capable? Her heart had been broken before. She met Sawyers concerned gaze pleadingly. Would he do this to her to? Kate couldnt bear it if she lost him. She hadnt said the words yet. If she didnt say them he wouldnt leave her. Kate knew she was thinking irrationally, but she was afraid.
"Im sorry he hurt you Kate" Sawyer finally answered.
Kate closed her eyes, thinking that Sawyer was doing everything right, right now, why was she so afraid? Her eyes were beginning to cloud up and she met his gaze worried if she didnt hold it together long enough, shed start sobbing.
Angry at Jack and tortured by his own thoughts Sawyer went up and put his arms around Kate. She buried her head into his chest, not allowing him to see her tears as she melted into him.
Sniffling a little she spoke in a soft muffled sobbing tone...
"I just dont know what we're going to do now...What will we do Sawyer?"
Sawyer hated to see her so distressed and it wasnt often that she fell apart like this. With creased brow he ran his hand over the top of her head stroking her hair in a soothing manner, but underneath it all, he was brimming.
Sawyer hid it well and kissed her temple though, replying...
"Come on Freckles...Lets go back to the beach...Im sure Gandhi and Al Jazeera will think of something..."
Sawyer and Kate finally left the Pearl station and headed for the beach, but they were surprised to find out when they got there that Locke and Sayid had already left to retrieve Desmond's boat. Locke believed he saw a cave on the west side of the island near the others housing facility. He didnt have time to check it out, but if Desmonds boat was anywhere on this island, that would be the perfect spot to hide it.
Kate was disappointed that she had been excluded from this little excursion, but at the same time, she was dead tired. Deciding not to argue or follow Locke and Sayid back out, she finally gave up her fight, Kate wanted nothing more to just collapse and sleep forever.
She wasnt allowed to though when Sawyer had to step aside to make way for Hurley, who lunged at Kate, giving her a huge bear hug...
"Kate! Your back! (He looked over at Sawyer) See Dude, told you she would be okay!"
Sawyer smiled embarrassedly. Kate looked over at Sawyer smugly, wishing she could rub it in when she was ambushed by the other side from Sun...
"Kate, its so good to have you back! I am glad youre safe..."
Kate smiled and nodded hugging her friend back. When it was all said and done and it was just Kate and Sawyer left standing on the beach, he exclaimed...
"You wanna crash at my pad Freckles? You look pretty wiped out..."
Kate smiled at him...
"Somehow I dont think Id get much sleep in your tent Sawyer..." She met his gaze coyly...
Kate wanted to take things slow. She needed this to progress naturally. It was after all the first Real relationship she had in a long time. Since Tom, and she screwed that one up. She didnt want to mess this one up like she had before.
"Touché" Sawyer finally replied.
Sawyer wasnt going to push her. He knew better than anyone that it would be like trying to get a horse to drink water, but part of him was curious to know what happened with Jack--The full story. He still had doubts about Kates feelings for him and if she was still hung up on the doc. But that would be a task best left for another day. He watched her walk away from him this time, not feeling angry or upset, but hopeful.
Kate awoke with a start that morning. Reliving in her mind the events of the last few days and the gruesome and shocking things she had witnessed. Relieved to find that she was in the safety of her tent Kate was glad to at least have her clarity of mind back. Everything lately had hit her like a ton of bricks and she wasnt sure how much more she could withstand.
The silver lining, she thought to herself was Sawyer though. Smiling to herself as she got up and got dressed, she was still tingling from yesterday, but it was a different kind of tingle. More like the kind you got when you felt like you had butterflies in your stomach. Who would have guessed Sawyer could have that effect on her? Kate still had a smirk on her face when she came out of her tent, eyes scanning down the beach for him in anticipation, her heart beating a little faster, but she didnt see him.
Before Kate could properly display her disappointment though, Sun approached quietly...
"Hello Kate!" She called to her.
Kate turned around and smiled back at her friend, replying...
"Hi Sun (Sun came closer and Kate turned to her asking...) How are things? Hows baby?"
Sun smiled back knowing that Kate wasnt just making small talk...
"Things are good... (Sun put her hand over her navel and smiled looking downwards at it) The baby is not even visible, but my stomach definitely notices...Much has happened since you've been away..."
Kate replied
Im glad to hear there havent been any complications.
She walked over to the water basin to splash her face clean and looked over at Sun a little concerned....
"Is everything okay here? There werent any more attacks were there?"
Sun shook her head...
"Oh no...nothing like that (explaining) Hurley found an old van out in the jungle and got it running...And the other day, we found some sea birds with homing tags and sent a message back with one..."
Kate raised her eyebrows...
"Really?" (Now that she thought about it, she did remember seeing a flock of seagulls hovering over the island a few days back.)
"Yes, hopefully someone will find the letter"
Kate nodded her mind in a kind of haze. Thinking about how something so small, like a seagull could get them all rescued. How much hope could you really have in one tiny bird? And then she thought of what the bird symbolized. Freedom.
Sun could see that her mind was elsewhere and she suspected where that might be, deciding to test the waters, she exclaimed...
"Of course Sawyer thought it was a silly idea..."
Hearing his name caught Kates attention. She would have asked Sun why Sawyer said that, but she already knew, he was most likely giving them a hard time for his own entertainment. Her mouth turning upwards, Sun continued...
"I think he was worried about you...We all were..."
Kate forced a smile, she had a feeling Sawyer was worried, and it made her feel happy inside that he missed her. She tried to hide this however, and she still was not ready to talk about what happened out there yet. She had a feeling Sun was trying to get her to open up. Kate was regretful that she left the beach the way she did, especially with Sawyer, but she wanted to keep the subject of Jacks betrayal and her new feelings for Sawyer at arms length till she had fully absorbed it all.
Sun could sense Kates closed offed-ness and decided to conclude with...
"But we are glad you are safe Kate!"
Kate met the womans eyes thankful for her sensitivity and she wrapped her arms around Suns tiny form....
"Thank you Sun...Im glad everyone here is safe too..."
Especially one in particular, she thought quietly.
Sun met her gaze, a brief pause and the unspoken words were communicated between them. Sun had recognized Kates new sensitivity on the subject of Sawyer and that did not go unnoticed.
Kate left her friend with thanks in her eyes for her discretion and she headed towards Sawyers tent. He was neither outside on his chair or inside sleeping, and her curiosity got the better of her. Kate walked the beach, stopping and speaking with a few people on her way to the pantry shelf. She had taken note of how many things people possessed lately. Wondering when or how Hurley and Charlie got a pile of playboy magazines, or when Claire finally found a brush for her hair, or where the croquet set came from, that Rose and Bernard were playing with down the beach. It couldnt have all been from the hatch, she thought puzzled. Going back to the playboys, she finally got that thunderbolt answer she was looking for. It was from Sawyers stash! Had to be. Kate was very curious to find him now and find out what had really gone on here since she was gone.
She finished her banana, grabbing a bottle of juice and headed to the one place, she hadnt yet looked--The woodpile.
Kate smiled to herself when she approached and could hear the chopping noise. Approaching him from behind, he didnt see her or hear her and she smirked creeping up quietly behind him. Staying just out of his line of vision, she leaned forward as he was about to take another swing and whispered in his ear...
"Looks like someone misses the chain gang..."
Sawyer jutted out a little and dropped his axe, turning around on guard, and then he saw who it was...
"Jesus Kate...Didnt your daddy ever tell you not to creep up on a man when he's cutting wood?"
Kate smiled brightly at him and extended her arm to him as she held out the bottle of juice in a peace offering...
"Here, thought you could use a break..."
Sawyer trying to hide how she miffed him just now, unscrewed the cap and took a swig...
"Thanks" he replied dryly...
Kate continued to smile at him and to fill the awkward silence; he met her gaze and asked...
"So you decided to go all Rip Van Winkle on us then huh Sassafras?"
She looked downwards trying to hide a smirk and then looked up at him with heavy lids giving him her best seductive look...
"A girls gotta get her sleep..."
Sawyer took a long swig and she watched as the moisture around the bottles rim touched his lips, in awe, all the sudden wanting to be that bottle.
Sawyer smiled at her reply...
"Yeah, right...sleep....That little thing thats keeping you away from my tent..." He smirked looking mischievously over at her, and Kate couldnt help but smile back. The air was heavy between them and neither knew exactly how to take the next step. Kate had a feeling if they kept this up, they would both be naked in mere moments rolling around on the jungle floor, probably not far from this location and she wasnt sure she wanted to have sex in public with Sawyer. Anyone could be likely to show up or interrupt them. She cleared her throat changing the subject...
"So I saw Hurley and Charlie with a stack of your playboys...Did you make a trade with them or were you just feeling generous?"
Sawyer narrowed his eyes reminiscing in ill memory the events that cost him his stash, pulling his shirt back on over his head, he replied...
"They took it from my tent..."
Kate chuckled at this...
"And what? You didnt take it back?"
Sawyer looked away and met her gaze playfully, trying to cover up his embarrassment...
"C'mon Sawyer, I can think of at least 10 other people that will tell me what really happened..."
Sawyer rolled his eyes finally giving in to her request...
"I lost it in a ping pong game..."
Kate had to look down and cover her mouth, but the giggling was threatening to take over as she hiccupped one out, and Kate finally gave in to the laughter, in-between choked outbursts she asked...
"Ping pong?"
She could see that Sawyer was not amused turning his attention back to packing up his things. Her laughter stifled and Kate came to a realization, finally asking him...
"So what were the additional terms if you lost?"
Sawyers eyes darted back to her as if to say, Leave it alone. But it only intrigued Kate more. His back was turned to her but she went up behind him and whispered in his ear...
"Come on Tex, tell me and Ill make it worth your while..."
The sound of her voice intoxicated him and he was paralyzed against doing anything else. She put her hands on his waist and turned herself around to face him, looking up into his gaze expectantly...
Sawyer paused for a moment still hesitant, but he figured what was one more embarrassment. Looking into her eyes dazedly he replied with a smirk...
"No nicknames, (enunciating her name) Freckles! No nicknames for a whole week..."
Kate lips curved up into a smile as she met his mischievous gaze, realizing he obviously didnt keep his part of the bargain. And she wasnt going to reinforce it. Powerless to stop the magnetic pull that was igniting between them she leaned up to kiss him and their lips locked and tongues tangoed. She broke the kiss briefly to exclaim...
"I wont tell..." Going back hungrily for more, she kissed him again. Pressing herself up against him, she had totally forgotten about the whole sex in public thing, not caring if he ravished her here and now, secretly wanting to she started to tug at the hem of his shirt, but Sawyer backed away unexpectedly.
Kate looked at him puzzled, and Sawyer reasoned...
"Hold it there Sassafras, We aint been on our date yet, and I dont want to ruin the moment for ya..."
Kate had forgotten about the date. She wasnt exactly a date kind of girl, at least not the conventional kind, and right now, she sure didnt care about some stupid flirt fest. She knew what she wanted and he was standing right in front of her. She ran her hand up under his shirt...
"I dont care about the date...Lets just take a rain check on that"
She leaned in to kiss his neck, but Sawyer just backed away holding her off...
"No way Freckles! You aint gettin out of this one..."
The truth was, he had gone through quite some thought on the perfect location, setting, props etc for their date, and he was looking forward to this, almost as much as he was looking forward to making Kate beg.
"You said you wanted a date and dammit, your gonna get one!"
Despite her best attempts at seducing him, Kate knew she was going to lose on this one. Her stubborn cowboy obviously wasnt going to cave in that easy. And she threw up her hand in forfeit, watching him begrudgingly...
"Fine Sawyer! So what did you have in mind?" She watched him awaiting a reply expectantly.
A half hour later Kate was waiting in the spot Sawyer had told her to meet him at wondering where on earth he could be, or what they were going to do here when he suddenly showed up out of nowhere with a blanket over his hand, a wood box in the other hand. He laid the blanket out and gestured for her to take a seat. Pulling a bag of corn chips out of the box, he handed them to her. Kate just looked up at him astonished and Sawyer just smirked...
"Dont worry Freckles, they aint gonna bite cha...Infact it works the other way around..."
Kate had a strange puzzled expression on her face as she watched him take out a couple of mangos and 2 bottles of water.
"What else do you have in there Sawyer...A rabbit or something?"
Sawyer just smirked at her and pulled the last item out setting it behind him as he flipped the box upside down in front of them. Finally taking what looked like a board game from behind him; he flipped the lid and took out the board, setting it down on top the box in-between them. When Kate saw what game it was she was simply stunned into silence...
"Are you serious?"
Sawyer tested the wheel to see if it could still spin and smiled back at her, his eyes glittering as he answered her...
"Serious as a heart attack baby...And Im going to rob you blind..."
Kate could see the spark in his eyes now and the game started to peak her interest a little more, taking his verbal challenge as foreplay, she wasnt planning on letting him live those words down anytime soon. Her mouth curving into that Mona Lisa smile of hers...
"Okay Tex, youre on..."
Sawyer smirked and held out a car for her, it was pink, and Kates least favorite color...
"You didnt want the blue one right?" He asked coyly.
But Kate just smiled taking the pink car from him. And one pink peg. Revenge would be sweeter when she kicked his butt in a pink car, Kate thought smirking, finally answering...
"No pink is just fine"
The game started out well enough. Kate got a lawyer for her profession and Sawyer got professor. Lawyer made more she thought smiling as she greedily spun the wheel and collected her salary. Then they both approached the marriage marker. Kate wondered if she could get by it faster, but landed on the same spot as Sawyer did.
"Guess we gotta get married" Sawyer retorted, thinking how cliché this game really was, but then he was curious, asking Kate...
"Who's your guy?"
Kate looked back at him confused...
"Excuse me?"
"Who's the man youre going to marry, (Kate still looked baffled and he continued explaining...) Who's Mr. Right?"
Kate could see that Sawyer wasnt joking and genuinely interested in her response, deciding to entertain him, she answered...
"I dont know...I guess ever since I was a little girl I thought he would be the knight and shining armor type, you know...dark, handsome, my best friend...the man who would rescue me from my terrible life..."
She met Sawyers gaze, her childish smile fading, serious for a moment, looking into his eyes as if they were the windows to his soul, she could see beyond his undivided attention, that he was trying to hide doubt there and something else, she couldnt quite put her finger on. Kate continued looking down sadly...
"That was a little girls fantasy though... (She blinked slowly looking up at him, struggling with her words) One that I tried to live, butdidnt work out...Couldnt work out... (her brow creased) cause it was based on a lie..."
Sawyer was about to let her off the hook. He saw how tormented this was making her. Although he was dying to know more, especially about this alleged marriage that didnt last very long. He opened his mouth to speak, but Kate cut him off...
"I know now that there is no knight in shining armor...We walk alone (Sawyer met her gaze sadly and knowingly, and her voice softened, breaking up a little with emotion) But if I had someone to walk with me...Someone to hold my hand from time to time...someone to laugh with...that would be..."
Her words drifted off as her gaze locked with his and Sawyer wondered when did this conversation take such a serious turn? He blinked once, trying to get his concentration back. Back to the game, that they were doing a very good job at not playing, but he couldnt help but feel the new awareness, as if she stirred in some new ingredient to their relationship that he wasnt familiar with.
Breaking the heavy air Sawyer finally smirked and spun the wheel, trying to lighten the mood...
"Too bad...woulda figured you for a preachers wife myself Freckles...Or maybe a cops old lady (his smile widened) thinking about how ironic that would be, but strangely justified..."
Kate took a swig of her bottle, not letting him see how close to home he actually hit. But strangely enough, she wasnt hurt by his words, or bothered.
"Your turn Sawyer..."
Kate wanted to ask him the same question but she could see that it would most likely be a waste of her time. After all, she was sitting across from Casanova himself...
Sawyer spun the wheel and his face fell as he landed on the house burns down space, lose $100,000.
"Shoulda bought the insurance.." He replied bitterly.
Kate studied his face smiling faintly. She actually felt bad for him, knowing that small things like winning a board game didnt mean anything to someone who had a normal life, but to someone like Sawyer, she knew it meant something more...
"Listen, you dont have to pay it Sawyer...I dont care...It's just a stupid game..."
But Sawyer just shook his head, putting his $100,000 back into the bank stubbornly..
"Nope...My house burnt down and I gotta pay..."
Kate looked over at him feeling a wave of familiarity. Maybe this game wasnt so far fetched after all. It was her turn to spin, and Sawyer smirked when he saw the space she landed on, he couldnt resist...
"Twins huh?"
Kate smiled her dark thoughts fading as her cheeks blushed and she looked back up at him. She didnt know why she was blushing, it just happened. Realizing that she was losing control over these little things, she used to have control over before, when she was with Sawyer.
Unfortunately for Kate, Sawyer recognized his power over her and decided to rub it in even further...
"Guess when Mr. Right does his business; he really gets it done..."
She couldnt help but smile wider, her face turning a lovely crimson hue...
"Stop it Sawyer!"
He smiled wickedly, continuing...
"Wonder if Mr. Right knows what Mrs. Freckles likes best? (His voice dropped getting softer and sexier...)Like behind or in front. Or about that mole just above her right nipple, or where she wants his fingers to press when she climaxes...."
Kate bit her lip; her breathing was getting heavier as she watched him send those smoldering gazes in her direction. And she was reminded of earlier today, by the wood pile, and how much she wanted him right now. Sawyer was already getting hard watching her lustfully gaze over to him, like a predator would his prey, and he added...
"I can just see the car shakin now...
Kate smiled heatedly and in one swoop she lost it, her control that is, switching roles, she pushed the board and all the game pieces into the sand as she tackled him to the ground.
Like a wildcat she jumped him devouring his lips with hers, tearing his shirt off, and then hers. Sawyer could barely catch his breath before she was tugging her top off over her head. She was struggling with the head though and he helped her tug off the last shards of fabric. This was so hot and he was so aroused right now.
Kates legs were straddled over his lap and she reached down to unzip his pants. Not surprised when she saw his arousal rise to full attention between them. Sawyer tried to unbutton her denims but he wasnt moving fast enough as she brushed his hands aside and unzipped them herself.
Both of them rolling over so they could shed the rest of their clothing and then Sawyer found himself on top. He looked down at her thinking he should do something to entice her, women loved foreplay. But he was dangerously approaching his point of no return. Kate gave him his answer when she looked into his eyes...
"Please Sawyer...Do it now...Make love to me now!"
Sawyer blinked once, and then he felt her legs clench around his hips. She opened herself up to him and he sunk in slowly, inch by inch. Kate gasped as she adjusted to his size, the wetness around her core seeping out and allowing him to sink in further.
His body moved rhythmically with hers as she sunk into the sand, but Kate craved him, she craved his release to feel it warm and wet inside her and to feel her own release as they cemented together.
"Faster Sawyer"
She moved under him frantically trying to push up. She clung to him and clenched tight as he moved over her. Sawyer was starting to lose himself as his thrusts went deeper and he pushed in harder....
"God...Kate!"
Kate could feel her orgasm coming, trying to hang on as long as she could, but finally, surrendering to the pure cosmic bliss, she let the waves of heat come over her. Moaning out his name as her nails dug into his back...
Feeling her clench below him, sent Sawyer off into his own heavenly oasis as he tried to maintain, thrusting her back, once, twice, a third time and then he finally lost his battle.
She could feel the thick seminal fluid cool off her heated walls as his long hard length lay buried inside her.
They were both in the zone.
Collapsing down over her, Sawyer wanted so badly to say those 3 little words right now. They were on the tip of his tongue. He had never felt more connected to Kate then he had any other woman and it seemed right to say, but he held back. Afraid that she wouldnt feel the same way.
Instead he rolled over onto his back so Kate could rest on top of him. She lay there for a moment in silence and then she sat up straddling him. Bending down once to kiss him, she came back up, pulling his hands to her breasts as she felt him harden again between her thighs, as her nipples hardened in his tanned hands. Taking it as a sign that he was ready, she moved up and sank back down over him, impaling herself onto his hard cock.
What they knew was sex. Feeling comfort in each other. They moved together. The contact was electric and familiar, and something else they couldnt quite put their fingers on. Something more that neither one was willing to address. So they continued in their sacred act as the hypnotic, primal movement consumed their bodies, minds, and souls.
Kate lay in Sawyers arms, after an afternoon of exhaustingly, highly erotic, mind blowing love making. She pulled the cover up on the blanket which protected them from the ocean breeze. Neither one of them sure about what had developed between them now or how to handle it. Sawyer tried his best though with humor to lighten the mood...
"You know as often as we have been....you know... (Kate looked up at him and smiled sheepishly) Well...I keep forgettin about protection...for...it..."
Kates face fell, and Sawyer feared he had put his foot in his mouth yet again... She looked up at him and shook her head...
"You dont have to worry Sawyer (her voice was sad and she spoke softly) I dont think I can have kids (Sawyer watched her empathetically, and feeling a little sad as well, but mostly because Kate looked so hollow right now, she continued...) I had a pregnancy scare back when I was married...Even the test came out negative, but I went to the doctor not long after just to be sure and he told me I had a tipped uterus, and my chances of conceiving naturally were almost non existent..."
She looked out at the water sadly her head still resting on his chest and he pulled her closer. Sawyer spoke quietly into her hair...
"Dont fret over it Freckles...More fun for us right?"
Kate knew what he was doing and although since she had found out the news, she knew she should have been relieved, with being the kind of person she was, and the kind of life she led...but instead she just felt emptiness there. One more little girl fantasy she could cross off her list.
Forcing a smile for the man she now saw differently that flicker came back and she realized it wouldnt be so bad if Sawyer was here with her, she met his gaze seeing him in this light for the first time, imagining some sort of future here....a future for the first time that included someone besides herself, and she nodded her head looking down, finally giving him an answer...
"Yes more fun for us..."
As intimate and close as they could be while having sex, it was still terrifyingly difficult to voice words about anything, especially something as serious as this and he could feel the heaviness come between them again. Sawyer saw Kates smile but he could hear sadness in her voice.
They got up and got dressed. Sawyer made a few jokes to lighten the mood bringing a smile to Kates face.
But not being able to help himself, Sawyer wanted to find out more about this man, Kate's husband...
"So this guy...the one you were married to... (He looked back at her as she slipped her bra back on, Sawyer paused for another moment and finally asked...) Did you love him?"
There was along pause and Kate could feel her heart beating under her hand. She found it curious that Sawyer would ask this question, but also in some strange way, she could understand his motives for asking it. She had after all opened the door to that subject. Finally after what seemed like an eternity she tipped her face up to look at him. His eyes were calm but filled with curiosity as he searched hers with an unspoken vulnerability. Kate could give him nothing but the truth, however. Anything less and he would see right through it. Nodding her head slightly, she finally replied...
"Yes...His name was Kevin, and...I loved him...Or as much as I could..."
Sawyer watched her with interest, a new sadness there, wondering, why she couldnt love him. He thought she was going to say it that day, the first time they made love, in the cages...but she didnt. She just kissed him, maybe to shut him up. Kate could see the wheels turning in his head and she didnt like the look he was giving her...
"He didnt even know my real name...Our marriage lasted several months, but in that time...He never knew what I did...or who I really was..."
Sawyer looked back at Kate sadly. She hated that look, walking over to him, trying to re-establish the connection they had moments before, she nuzzled her face into his shoulder she kissed his neck lightly whispering...
"Not like you?"
He wondered how ridiculous it was to be jealous of a guy he had never even met, but for some reason her was. This jealousy was eating him up inside. First Jack, now this, this Kevin...Who else would she pledge her love to? Would it ever be him?
Kate could feel Sawyers muscles tense underneath her as he asked...
"Why did you leave him then? Or did he leave you?"
She looked up at him now sadly, and a little hurt, wondering why Sawyer was digging like this. Opening old wounds that never really healed, she shook her head answering softly...
"No...I left him... (Kate closed her eyes...) The Marshall was on my tail...Kevin was a cop...I didnt want him to get in trouble... (Her voice was starting to shake) And when I thought I was pregnant...I couldnt take it anymore...I had to get out...I knew I was living a lie and I couldnt do it...."
Sawyer thought this little token of Kate's history would have set his mind at ease but for some reason, all he could hear was Kate running away from a man she loved and a good guy. He was right about the cop thing. She had run away from Jack too apparently. Doing what she did best. Wondering if he was just a safe harbor till the next knight in shining armor rolled into town.
He finished dressing and started to clean up the mess they made. Kate didnt like the glare Sawyer had just cast in her direction and demanded to know what was causing it...
"Sawyer!" She called his name, but he continued to pick up things and put them into the box, not bothering to acknowledge her.
A little louder, "Sawyer!!!" Kate finally stood up after shoving her arms into her tank top, before she dashed over to where Sawyer was picking up pieces from the game. Kate tried to help him but he had gotten most of them shoved back in the box along with a small pile of sand, he tried to shake as much off the board as possible before dumping it back in the box.
Kate just shook her head and put her hand on his arm, her voice a little calmer...
"Sawyer? What just happened? Whats wrong?"
He looked back at her coolly meeting her questioning green eyes with his steel blue and simply asked...
"Why did you really choose me Kate?"
Kate looked back at him confused...
"What?"
She wasnt expecting a question like that, but Sawyer just narrowed his eyes responding harshly...
"You heard me Freckles!"
Kate looked back at him hurt for his biting tone when she had no idea what she had done wrong. All she had done was tell him the truth. Searching his eyes for the man she had seen minutes earlier, but he was gone. The walls were back up, and she could see that she had no choice but to entertain Sawyers ridiculous request if she wanted this to end well. Creasing her brow, she replied...
"Sawyer...I..."
Kate swallowed, the words on the tip of her tongue, but it was so hard, she wasnt sure if after this hed turn on his heel and laugh as she fell on her face. Looking down at her feet in the sand and then back up at his demanding eyes, she pleaded with him to show mercy, but he wouldnt back down and Kate closed her eyes, blinking back up at him, a look of desperation...
"I need you Sawyer..."
For a moment there Sawyer thought she was going to say something else, the words he thought hed never hear come out of Kates mouth, but was ultimately disappointed, assuming that she needed him in the same way an alcoholic needed a glass of vodka. He was just a fix to her. How ironic was it now that he the player was finally getting played at his own game. The minute he started to feel more, it was the same cock and bull routine that he had tried with all the women before her. Up until now, he had no idea how much that really hurt.
Looking back at her he shook his head...
"Said yourself that we walk alone Freckles...You...dont need anyone...Neither do I..."
Kate looked up at him confused like he had just cut her. Sawyer paid no attention however and started to head back to the beach. What the hell did he want her to say? She wasnt about to let him see her grovel for his attention. Why the hell was this so hard? Kate thought if it came down to it, she might just have to beat him up to get the message through his thick head how she felt about him, but that might send him mixed signals. Dammit why was this so hard? she thought, agonizingly.
"Sawyer! (She marched up to him as they reached the edge of the beach) Dont you walk away from me! Were not done!"
Sawyer rolled his eyes and glared back at her as he continued to walk...
"Beg to differ with you Sweetheart!"
He kept walking and Kate stopped in her tracks, shouting back at him...
"Is this about Kevin or Jack, James???"
Sawyer stopped and turned around to face her, so now it was James again was it? His eagle eyes tore into her and he walked back towards her, but Kate stood her ground...
"Guess I pick D. None of the above...cause Its about you Kate!"
Then he muttered under his breath...
"Like a damn black widow spider arencha?"
Kate shot him daggers with her eyes, her temper starting to boil, upset that he was judging her...
"Your one to talk Sawyer!"
Sawyer smirked and waved his hand as he started walking again, the edge of their beach in site now. Sawyer replied sarcastically...
"So its Sawyer again?...I cant remember...So is it Sawyer or James when youre really pissed off at me?"
Kate was angry that he turned his back on her yet again; she didnt know whether she wanted to smack him or jump him...
"Take your pick!" She spat back as she caught up with him walking in line with him. Kate was waiting for another come back from Sawyer when she noticed him pause and gaze down towards the other end of the beach. She followed his gaze and Sawyer finally replied...
"Looks like the Dr. Doolittle and his Nurse Hatchet are back!"
Kate watched as Jack and Juliet were greeted by the other beach goers, confused as to Jacks presence here she was speechless. Not wanting to see Jack again, ever, she grabbed Sawyers arm...
Sawyer looked at her confused and she asked...
"Can I please stay with you Sawyer?"
She looked genuinely afraid and at first Sawyer couldnt understand why. It was odd that she asked him this here and now.
"Thought you needed your sleep Freckles?"
Kate shook her head and tried to force a smile...
"Ive had enough sleep Tex..."
But then Sawyer connected the dots realizing she had no interest in sleeping in his tent until after she saw Jack and Juliet. He cocked his head and looked back at her, asking jokingly...
"You tryin to make Saint Jack jealous or somethin?"
However Kate answered a little too quickly and with too much tension...
"No!"
Sawyer didnt buy it. He didnt want to be Kates cabana boy. Narrowing his eyes, wondering something else as he noticed that Jack was holding Juliets hand....
"Or are you jealous of her?"
Kate looked back at him alarmed. What possessed him to ask something like that? She just wanted to have little peace even if it was for a day. She wasnt ready to face Jack. Answering him in a harsher tone, she replied...
"No Sawyer...Im not jealous of anyone...I think your the one whos jealous!"
Sawyer shook his head and smirked, calling her bluff...
"Well if youre not jealous and Im not jealous, at least as far as I know, we can just go and walk over there together to welcome him home then!"
Kate pulled on his arm as he stepped away...
"No, please dont do that!"
Sawyer was done with the games however, angry that they had come full circle yet again and Kate was obviously still hung up on Jack, he wanted to push her away, and push her hard, tensing up, she finally let go of him. He lashed back....
"Why wouldnt you want me to do that Kate? Cause the only person you care about on this island is you? And your battered self image by havin the hero reject you? How bout I make things easy for ya? You can go and make nice with saint jack, while I distract the blonde, maybe even take her out back...Hell it wouldnt be the first time..."
Kate looked at him like he had just stabbed a knife into her heart....
"Wouldnt be the first time? (She glared back at him on the brink of tears swearing to herself that she wouldnt let him see her cry, but her voice was shaky...)What do you mean by that?"
Although something in her mind told her she already knew the answer...
Sawyer shook his head trying to whitewash his expression so he looked unemotional...
"You never wondered how she got the gun."
Kates nostrils flared and she looked at Sawyer with blind rage. But Sawyer just stood there coolly...
"Dont you give me that look...How many times have you gone runnin after the Doc? Probably rolled around in the jungle too...(he closed his eyes and looked back at her with his best attempts to not let her know how much this was effecting him, how much it plagued him with jealousy) I know you wish you could hate me Kate...So now you can..."
There was a sniffle and if she didnt get out of there soon she would be a mess, she replied weakly...
"I never slept with Jack!"
He creased his brow suddenly feeling extraordinarily bad for his recent behavior. Wanting to take back his words, but he was afraid if he did, hed have nothing left. Kate turned away defeated and it broke Sawyers heart not wanting to cause her pain..
"Kate!" Sawyer called softly after her, but Kate just shook her head. She had never hurt quite like this before. It was a new kind of hurt. Not like when Tom broke her young heart as a girl, or when she broke Kevins, this was a mutual hurt, and she didnt know if/when it would ever stop.
"Kate..." He spoke again, but she just looked down at the ground trying to hold her tears in as long as she could...
"Just let it go Sawyer...I give up...Im done fighting with you about something youll never believe!"
Her silent surrender as she walked away from him tore him apart. Sawyer knew now that he had gone too far, and pushed her too hard. The pit in his stomach had come back and taken root and he wondered if it was too late now.
Kate clearly did not want to see him, as he watched her march past the group of people, past Jack and Juliet, into her tent.
Unbeknownst to Sawyer, once Kate was inside, she finally let herself break down. Sobbing uncontrollably, she had never felt more alone in her whole life. The first time here, actually crying because of Sawyer.
The next couple days were icy at best. Kate would pass Sawyer as he was reading his book, pretending to be immersed in it as he gazed out at the water. She would watch him but as soon as he looked up she quickly turned her head to look in the other direction.
And Sawyer would on occasion pass by Kate while she was chatting with Sun or visiting Claire and Aaron. He tried to keep his distance but he couldnt shake the feeling. The one that pulled him to her, even if it was just to see what she was doing, or how she wore her hair that day.
He went back to his tent, wishing he could just shut the whole world out. Sleep seemed to be his only hope of escape, but even in sleep he dreamed of her. Tossing and turning all night long. He cursed Charlie and Desmond for taking the last of his whiskey. Settling on another can of flat beer he opened it. Sawyer swished it around in his mouth swallowing the smooth cool liquid and then he spotted something on the ground of his tent.
It was shiny, oddly shaped, and small and he bent down to pick it up, a smirk forming between his lips as he realized what it was. Wondering how on earth this toy plane got in his tent, but it was strangely familiar to him. Sawyer knew he had seen this figurine before, but it wasnt a part of his stash. Thinking back, he remembered seeing it before, lying in the sand. But where was it? he asked himself. Think.
And then it came to him. That day, the day before he left on the raft and he exposed Kate because he thought she wanted his spot. It was in her bag. He saw it fall on the ground along side that fake passport.
Minutes later Sawyer was outside Kates tent. She wasnt inside, but she saw him waiting there looking around and went up to him curious...
"Come to say your sorry Sawyer?"
He was surprised to hear her voice from behind turned to look at her. Instantly regretting his decision to come here so soon. He knew he wasnt ready to see her yet face to face.
She was watching him as he looked at her through saddened eyes. And then he finally shook his head and extended his hand, showing her the small toy plane...
"Found this...Thought you might want it back..."
Kate pursed her lips taking it from him hesitantly. Offering a small "thanks" as she turned it curiously over in her hand and then looked back up at him questioningly.
Sawyers eyes were on the ground and then he brought them up slowly to meet hers. For the first time Kate noticed how tired he looked. She didnt feel so well herself these last few days.
He didnt get tongue tied often, but with her, it was happening more frequently. Not wanting to leave her, but not knowing what to say, he asked...
"Sohow are things?"
Kate creased her brow. If she was honest she would tell him how miserable shed been. It was worse then before because she had this pit in her stomach now and she couldnt run anywhere, but she just looked up at him sadly and stated plainly...
"Fine... (Closing her eyes, she added...) Same old...same old."
I missed you, she wanted to say, but she couldnt get the words out.
Sawyer nodded his head feeling her closed-offedness. He swallowed, feeling hot and parched all of the sudden and replied softly...
"Thats good"
He met Kates gaze one more time waiting for her to offer him something, anything, but there was nothing and he slowly turned on his heel, looking back over his shoulder...
"Take care of yourself Freckles..."
Kate watched him confused. She couldnt figure him out half the time. Sending her very mixed signals, but she couldnt help feeling sad, very sad that he was leaving right now, and she called out to him...
"Sawyer wait!"
Sawyer turned back slowly facing her and she asked him...
"Why didnt you come with me when I went to get Jack back, why did you leave without saying goodbye?"
He looked back at her confused...
"You left me without saying goodbye Freckles...And I told you why youre save the hero mission was a bad idea..."
Kate shook her head...
"You didnt tell me why you didnt want to go..."
Sawyer shook his head not wanting her to dig deeper then she already had, but he knew he was already cornered. There was desperation in Kates eyes. Having little to no choice in the matter, Sawyer decided to answer her question...
"I didnt want to go cause I didnt want to watch you run back to him...Thought if I let you go...At least it was my decision and you'd be free...Free from obligations...free to do what you want..."
His voice was just above a whisper but she heard him, as he voiced his thoughts...
"they always sayif you love them, let them go..."
Kates eyes fell as she registered everything he was saying and then she raised them to meet his. Her eyes were filled with pain. She knew him inside and out, but sometimes he as so convincing, when he wanted people to think one way or another, when he wanted people to hate himshe almost fell prey this time too. Almost.
She couldnt help but smirk. This was the second time she heard him mention that word, which he claimed to never have felt before. Her eyes were large, searching his, and her voice was soft, all the sudden not caring about anything else...
"You love me Sawyer?"
Sawyer looked bashful, strangely enough when Kate asked him this questions, a small smirk as she saw one small indention and then two and then he met her gaze...
"Its a curse Freckles...but yeah...I do..."
Kate smiled up at him, the pit in her stomach vanquishing, the weight on her shoulders lifting, and it was as if a ray of light was shining down on her. She beamed up at him, her hand stroking his cheek and those killer dimples before she kissed him.
It took Sawyer a little off guard. He was unsure of his new feelings and wary of admitting them to Kate. But ultimately happy that she wasnt mad at him anymore, he kissed her back fully on the lips, realizing they felt most at home with one another when they were intimate.
Sawyer finally realized that it was broad daylight when he broke the kiss to look around, and then Kate wondered what he was looking at. Seeing a few onlookers, they were giving a number of people on the beach quite the show and then Kate broke away.
Sawyer looked sad for a moment casting an uncertain glare out towards the onlookers. Feeling like she was ashamed of him. Kate had stepped into her tent, when the embarrassment kicked in for Sawyer, and then he felt a tug on the back of his denims.
She whispered in his ear once he was inside the darkened tent...
"C'mon Tex...We got a lot of making up to do..."
Sawyer turned around catching a shadow of a smile as one or 2 rays illuminated her perfect breasts.
Sawyer disrobed too and within minutes they were on their knees. Kate had her hands on one of the tent poles as Sawyer pushed into her from behind. They both had gone for 2 days without any sexual release so the buildup was torturous. Once it started they couldnt keep their hands off each other. Kate spread her legs open further as he thrusted from behind bending over she held on to the pole tightly. Whimpering his name as he filled her up from behind. Then Sawyer fell back and Kate turned around, impaling herself on his newly hardened cock. Her slick heat sliding over him tight and wet. Every stroke sending her to another level. And Sawyer had lost all sense of control. Allowing Kate to completely dominate him he ran his hands up her hips, around her waist, finally pinching her nipples as she climaxed over him. Falling over the edge as they both let themselves go completely.
Few people on that area of the beach were unaware of the goings on in Kates tent. But neither of them cared. Sawyer finally removed all doubt from any questioning minds however, when Kate slid her fingers over his long hard length while he was moving inside her. The pressure she was putting on his shaft and then wrapping around to pull his balls sent him through the roof. Screaming obscenities combined with her name.
And then the release came long and hard. Kate felt the ecstasy take over her body in the same moment as Sawyer and her head fell back. He fell down on top of her and was about to roll over when she pulled him back, liking the weight of him pressed against her, Kate kept her legs wrapped firmly around his hips as they both breathed raggedly into each others hair.
Kate broke the silence...
"Sawyer...I...I...
Sawyer closed his eyes for a moment, realizing what it was she was trying to say, but instead of watching her struggle through it, he bent over to kiss her on the lips, smiling faintly back at her...
"I know you do Freckles...I know you do..."
Both of them realizing at the moment that the best remedy for their heartache was each other. No substitutes. No exceptions.
It was in the early hours of morning and she could smell the saltiness coming off the morning tide. Kate was facing Sawyer. Despite their best efforts, they couldnt part ways for the evening and Sawyer ended up spending the night in her tent.
Kate smirked watching his peaceful sleeping face. The strong bridge of his nose, connecting his perfectly arched brows, and the other half, a pair of smooth warm and inviting lips. Slightly full, but tasted like the perfect mix of salty and sweet. Kate ran her tongue over her own lips trying to remember how he felt, how he tasted. Closing her eyes, she imagined his arms around her, her legs clenching his hips, how exquisite they felt together.
She opened her eyes again to look at him. His face was so calm and serene. In sleep Kate noticed that he looked much younger. She wondered sadly if that was the only place he ever found peace, or perhaps his nightmares gave him little relief as well. In fact she new that he had them.
She put her hand in his hand and he started to stir, but was still visibly asleep. Kate leaned over, not being able to resist his presence next to her and kissed his shoulder lightly. His skin was warm and sun kissed and she began to work her way up to his collarbone, placing a trail along his neck, till finally their lips met.
She opened her eyes watching his to see if he was awake yet, if he could feel her body move over his or her hands run through his hair, but there was no movement.
Kate moved to the other side of his neck and kissed him lightly. She thought she felt the slightest tinge of movement through his body, but when she looked up; his eyes were still tightly closed.
Kissing his jaw line, Kates eyes shifted. She knew she felt movement that time and judging by the faint line of a smirk on his face, she had a feeling her southern pervert was playing with her. Two could play at this game she thought. Kissing one dimple and then the other, her lips met the side of his mouth, and she decided to get more adventurous.
Moving her hand down in-between them to his abdomen she held her palm flat and pushed down. Teasing him, she brushed her fingers over his thighs, and then came back up.
Kate could see the dimples deepen on Sawyers cheeks and she knew she had him right where she wanted him. Going in for the kill she gripped her fingers around his cock as her tongue grazed his bottom lip.
Kate heard a gasp as Sawyer was finally forced to open his eyes meeting her mischievous smirk.
"Wasnt sure if you were up yet" She musingly replied as he rose to attention in-between her thighs. Kate was already getting wet in anticipation of feeling him inside her.
Sawyer smirked back at her and glanced down at the visible small space between them...
"Looks like I am now..."
Kate moved her knees down to the ground on either side of his hips and straddled him lengthwise. She teased him allowing him to press his hardness against her opening as her naked breasts pressed up against his chest. Kate almost had to bite her lip to maintain her control over the situation. She had been fantasizing about this for too long already. Playing with him further she used her words...
"Well if you wanted to sleep in all you had to do was say so, I dont have anything pressing going on right now..."
His dimples deepened enjoying the verbal foreplay, as did his body, as he moved his hands to grip her ass pulling her to hover directly over his raging erection. Kate let out a soft moan.
"Well I wouldnt want to keep you from anything important Freckles...Far be it from me to take up too much of your time..."
The pull was getting to be too much for both of them and Sawyer could feel her press up against him. His imagination running wild as her smell intoxicated him. And then Kate plunged her tongue in his mouth...
"Good morning Sawyer" She stated breathlessly breaking the kiss.
"Morning Sunshine!" He replied back with a smile, plunging his tongue into her depths.
Kate moaned as he pulled her ass over him. She was so wet, like a dripping fountain tap, she was ready and waiting for him. When he finally made contact his hardness penetrated her core easily. Pulling herself up to a sitting position, feeling the intense pleasure, she started to rock over his length. Pulling out and clenching in she began to find a rhythm, starting slow and then moving faster. Every thrust brought painful pleasure and agonizing gasp from her and a groan from Sawyer as he infatuatedly watched her breasts bounce, her hips move, her slickness thrusting over his pulsing cock, her long mane of hair, her eyes--It all mesmerized him.
Sawyer was nearly gone and noticed Kate clenching harder around him. He knew she had reached her climax. If he let himself, he could have come, but intercepting he turned the tables and flipped Kate over onto her back.
Her eyes were glazed pools of emerald green waters and he was lost in them. When her quivering stopped he began to move again. Thrusting his hardness into her slowly. And she opened herself up again to him fully. Arching her back, her hips met his hungrily bringing her legs up around his hips. Navel to navel, breast to breast, conjoined together in the sacred act of making love. Sawyer could feel his control slipping, and before he let go completely, he plunged his tongue into Kates mouth once more. She ran her hands through his hair, and one down his back, her fingers settling into his other set of dimples.
He could feel her grip tighten as she clenched around him, her climax finally at its peak. Sawyer tried to keep the battle going moving faster as he held onto her tight, but his grip was loosening and he could feel the pressure build as his final thrust buried her head in his pillow below them and Sawyer finally surrendered, letting it all go. Bringing them both into a spiral of milky whiteness.
Lying in a balmy heap, once their heavy breathing subsided and heart beats went back to normal Sawyer looked over at Kate and gave him one of his smirky smiles...
"Damn Freckles...You sure know how to wake a man up..."
Kate smiled and explained...
"I didnt think I could drag you out of my tent so decided to try something more constructive..."
His dimples deepened and he pulled her body next to his. Hands caressing her navel as he brushed his way upwards, grazing one breast, then the nipple. The numbness in Kates body, turned into a tingling sensation as he woke her up again...
"Is that so Peaches?" He growled into her ear. And she smiled tilting her head down almost laughing as his soothing Southern drawl tickled her ear drum.
"Well maybe part of its true" She confessed as he trailed kisses down her neck. Her breath skipped and Sawyer replied...
"Well Darlin...For the record...Anytime you want to drag my ass out of bed...Pretty much everything you just did will work..."
Kate purred back, her body still humming from their previous encounter...
"Mmmm...Ill have to keep that in mind then..."
Sawyers hand roamed finally resting in the vee between her thighs...
"You do that Freckles..."
Letting out a small gasp, in that moment his fingers dipped into her, Kate couldnt help but turn around and kiss him on the mouth. It was warm and inviting, and would be absolutely perfect if she didnt have the little nagging thought in the back of her head that was telling her she needed to talk to Sawyer. Damn that conscience, she thought irritated.
"Whats goin on in that pretty mind of yours Sassafras?" Sawyer asked.
Kate flinched realizing that he must have noticed her pause. She had to do this carefully. Very carefully, or she could risk losing Sawyer. Something she wasnt willing to part with. She would have rather remained here in his arms, making love till the sun came up, or went down, whichever came last.
She turned back around to face him meeting his curious gaze with a serious one of her own. Kate wrapped her arms around his body tighter just to feel his closeness and she blinked looking back up at him...
"I need to talk to you..."
Sawyers smirk faded and his expression turned slowly to one of genuine concern as he gazed into her green eyes.
"What is it?" He asked hesitantly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.
Kate met his gaze and answered matter of factly...
"Its about what happened. While I was away...What they did to us..."
"What did they do to you?" He asked questioningly.
Kate put her hand over his wrist and met his gaze pleadingly...
"If you dont mind, Id rather talk about this someplace secluded where we know we arent being watched..."
Sawyer was a little worried, and he really wanted to know what was bothering her so much, but he didnt have much choice in the matter. He wanted Kate to open up to him, and it was something he was willing to wait for. Nodding his head in answer, Sawyer replied...
Forty five minutes later Sawyer was reading outside his tent. Covertly reading that was, while he was really apprehensively waiting for Kate, making it look like he was busy with his book when he heard raised voices coming from the other end of the beach. When Sawyer looked over to see who it was, he was amazed to see that Jack and Juliet were indeed having a lovers quarrel. Or he could only assume it was since they were practically attached at the hip now. Sawyer thought it was very odd, and he didnt trust Juliet more then he trusted not being bit by a snake that was just hosed out of its hole. And these days he didnt know what to think of the doc either.
But he kept his thoughts about that to himself. His activities with Kate had kept his suspicious nature at bay. He knew other people like Sayid felt the same way about Jack and Juliet though, and strangely enough, that put his mind at ease. That he wasnt the only one who thought this way.
The only thing he didnt know was how Kate felt about all of this.
Dropping his book he swiped an empty bottle and went over to the water tank to get a closer angle to the argument. Unfortunately Sawyer just caught the tail end, Juliet replying "fine" as she stomped off in his direction and Jack yelling "fine...do it your way!" as he watched Juliet walk away.
When she came close enough to Sawyer he could see that she was fuming. Wanting to test her reaction he commented as she passed him...
"Dont blame yourself Blondie...The Doc seems to have that effect on all the girls..."
Juliet turned around apparently taken off guard by Sawyers comment and stepped up closer to him...
"What would you know about it James?"
Juliet looked at him questioningly and Sawyers smirk faded. He didnt like her challenging stare. Sawyer just replied nonchalantly...
"I wouldnt know...But I would think someone who was staying here under hospitality of a group of people who were here against their own will, who didnt beat their guest and make her break rocks might want to be a little friendlier..."
Juliet just shook her head and smirked at him...
"And youre the one lecturing me on being nice James?"
Sawyer just shook his head and held in a snarl. Wishing he could take out his 9mm and waste her right here. But that action would have consequences. Consequences that she wasnt worth paying for.
"Suit yourself Mary Jane, but just know your cock and bull act aint foolin all of us. St. Jack cant save you every time...Sooner or later... (Adding coyly) And my moneys on sooner...Your silence is not gonna be tolerated...And rest assured...Ill be there when that time comes..."
Juliet just rolled her eyes and turned to leave, but before she did, added...
"Ill be sure to give Kate my condolences...Cause if it hadnt been for Jack, you would have died James...If it hadnt been for me...You would have died too...Play this revenge game with me and my people--3 times the charm...and Im sure after it happens she'll wish she'd picked Jack too. You dont think her mind was on you the whole time she was back at our camp do you? (noticing Sawyers expression of self doubt Juliet chuckled) The two of us were even free for a whole day, and youd never guess who she was fighting with me to go back for that whole time"
Juliet smirked as Sawyers face straightened. Her work was done here. Thinking to herself, turn them on each other and the wont give her the time of day.
Kate watched it all from afar. She was nervous about telling Sawyer what had happened. As Juliet walked away, Kate approached the brooding Sawyer. She had seen Juliet talking to Sawyer and the idea of it made her feel uncomfortable. Worried about what the women had said to him.
"Hey..." She said softly.
Sawyer barely looked up at her, his face a contortion of deep concentration, and Kate continued...
"What did she want Sawyer?"
Kate was really worried now, since Sawyer wasnt responding right away, and she tried to meet his gaze pleadingly...
"Sawyer?"
Sawyer just looked back at her coolly and replied...
"Why dont you tell me Freckles? Seems Blondies a lot more forthcomin about what went down back there then you have been!"
Kate creased her brow...
"Sawyer, theres no way I can explain myself if I dont know what youre talking about..."
She was about to say more when Sawyer cut her off meeting her gaze he demanded...
"Are you jealous of them?"
Kate looked at Sawyer confused, and Sawyer explained getting angrier...
"The Doc and Nurse Betty!"
Shaking her head she replied...
"What? Sawyer..."
But Sawyer wasnt going to back down...
"Its a yes or no question Kate...Are you jealous???"
Kate looked visibly upset, not knowing how to answer that. She met his cool stare feeling more closed off now then ever and simply turned away. Her silence speaking volumes.
"Yeah thought thats what you'd say!"
Thinking this whole time Kate had gone back for Jack because she had feelings for him. He was just her sloppy seconds. Taking her answer as a yes,
"I guess its better that I found out now...Now we dont have to trade secrets...Your off the hook Freckles."
Sawyer shook his head and glared at her looking physically hurt as he turned on his heel as steamed off.
She hated that look of his. The truth was, Kate didnt know how she felt about Jack and Juliet. She didnt know if the fact that she didnt like to see them together categorized as jealousy or not. Maybe it did, maybe she was jealous of him...Maybe a small part of her always wanted Jacks allegiance and for him to put her first. And what he did to her back there hurt. But Sawyers cutting words just now hurt her even more.
Kate felt more alone then ever. Not realizing how much she had grown to depend on Sawyers friendship and his love. Him closing her off like he had was like a slap in the face.
Kate saw Claire with Aaron down the beach and thought she would be a welcome distraction. She needed some time away from everything. Catching up with her friend, she found out a lot more had gone on since she had been gone. It seemed Sawyer had not told her everything. Surprised to hear about Nikki and Paulos deaths. Kate remembered a few brief words she had exchanged with the pair over the few months they had been here, but nothing memorable or meaningful. She was sad for the tragedy and wondered how it happened. It all seemed so strange.
But then again, everything on this island was strange. Claire asked Kate about her and Sawyer now.
She wasnt quite sure how to describe their new relationship with an uncomfortable look on her face; she gave Claire an answer that possibly only a mime could understand.
"I just dont know Claire...Things are complicated at the moment..."
Claire nodded her head in understanding. Kate thinking to herself that was the understatement of the century, wondering if the fire she had shared with Sawyer while maintaining its high flame for so long had finally burned out. After all, there was only so much they could put each other through. Kate knew she couldnt keep doing this with him. She was afraid to get too close, but at the same time, afraid to lose him. She was worried; they could tear each other apart.
Claire asked Kate if she could hold Aaron for a minute and Kate took the baby from her. Holding him in her arms she commented...
"He's getting big isnt he?"
Claire nodded and smiled proudly...
"Yeah...Im sure in no time I will be chasing him all over this island..."
Kate smiled and nodded in agreement looking at his happy face, which in turn caused her to smile...
"Im sure you will..."
Claire turned to get a fresh cloth out to change his diaper when Kates smile faded as she noticed something red on Aarons neck...
"Claire?" She asked her voice crowing concerned.
Claire turned around to look at Kate and Kate peeled back some of the fabric from Aarons blanket as she exposed the red mark....
"I think hes got a rash or spider bite or something..."
Claire took a closer look and nodded her head looking at it like it was a common thing to see, explaining...
"Yeah, hes allergic to some sort of pollen here. Jack gave me a bottle of something before but we ran out...Ill have to get more from him..."
Kate nodded volunteering...
"I can get it from him if you want"
Claire nodded her head...
"Sure...If you want to, that would be great...Sun says aloe works almost as well too...So I can try that in the meantime..."
Kate nodded and smiled at Claire saying her goodbyes to Claire and Aaron and she headed out in search of Jack.
It was starting to get dark now and as Kate combed the beach with out any luck she realized Jack may have gone back to his tent for the evening.
Making her way back her eyes subconsciously scanned the area for Sawyer, but like Jack, he was nowhere to be found outside.
Kate approached Jacks tent and heard laughing coming from inside. It sounded like Juliet and she scowled angrily approaching quietly.
"Jack?"
Kate asked, but there was no response. She heard more chuckling, this time it was from Jack. Curious as to what they could be laughing at, it was very rare to see him laugh; Kate called his name again...
"Jack? (she heard some shuffling wondering what the hell was going on in there Kate lifted the flap of his tent part way, her head was down as she ducked in to ask him for the medicine) Jack, Claire asked me to..."
But Kates voice trailed off as she took in the scene before her.
Juliet was laying naked in Jacks arms with a blush on her face. It was obvious Jack had just yanked up the covers for obvious reasons, but Kate would never forget the expression on his face. It wasnt one of embarrassment or getting caught red handed. Jack seemed genuinely angered and annoyed by her presence. Kate swallowed and shook her head...
"Im sorry it can wait till morning..."
And with that Kate hightailed it out of there as quickly as possible. She found herself on the end of the beach looking out at the ink black ocean water. Pondering what had just happened, how she felt about walking in on Jack and Juliet like that.
The weird part was, she wasnt thinking about how mad or upset she was over seeing another woman in Jacks arms. The cold harsh reality of the situation had forced her to see so clearly what she couldnt see before. Seeing Juliet there didnt hurt her, there were no pangs of jealously this time; it was more like a splash of cold water. One that allowed her to release that part of her being. For the first time seeing the situation as clear as day. Jack was a friend to her but nothing more.
And the only thing she wanted to do right now was find Sawyer and tell him about it, knowing he would surely enjoy the latest island gossip.
How messed up was that? She wondered. She just walked in on Jack and Juliet and the only person she was thinking about was Sawyer. And after the way things happened today, Kate wasnt even sure if Sawyer was speaking to her right now.
Looking out to the horizon she found a spot on the beach and gazed out at the stars above. They were just starting to come into view. Laying her head back in the sand she found some of the constellations with her finger. Orion, the Big Dipper, Cassiopeia....
Remembering her days as a young girl and camping out with her father, Sam, and how he used to show her which stars were what...
The memories made her homesick. The ironic part was that even if she went back, there would be no home to go back to. Her memories were all she had. Good and bad, bad and good. It made her nostalgic, but at the same time sad.
Realizing in the 4 months she had been on this island how she had sometimes forgotten about home. Most of those times, she noted, were when she was with Sawyer. But strangely enough, he felt familiar to her too. Like she knew him her whole life and this island was just a conduit to her reunion.
Shaking her head with a smile she told herself...
'Look at yourself...You never get time alone...You never get time to think about things...And the one time you do...Who are you thinking about?"
The answer came to her clear as day.
Kate knew now what her heart had been trying to tell her all along.
Deciding to remedy this quickly Kate went out in search of Sawyer. She went to his tent first but he wasnt there. Her eyes worriedly searched the beach, but he wasnt a part of any of the bonfires that were lit down the beach. She decided to search a little ways into the jungle. What if he was hurt? she thought worriedly. Kate started on the jungle trail towards the site of the old hatch. But before she even got close she collided into what she thought was a tree...
"Son of a..."
A tree that talked apparently.
Kate smiled as she recognized his voice and took in his appearance.
"Out setting traps for the boogeyman Sawyer?" She asked playfully, releived to see him.
Sawyer just grunted and tried to step past her...
"Went for an evenin swim if you must know, now if youll excuse me Freckles...I got a can of beer waiting for me with my name on it back at the old bachelor pad..."
Kate rolled her eyes. Men! She thought.
"Bachelor pad huh? Bet you got a whole line of women waiting outside to get in too huh?"
Now it was Sawyers turn to roll his eyes...
"Beat it Freckles...Go ask the Doc if he'll scratch that itch..."
It took a moment for her to register his last comment, but when she did Kates eyes blazed in fury at what he was suggesting. Sometimes Sawyer made her so mad. Stepping closer she sucker punched him in the gut and swept her leg behind his leg, so he was laying flat on his back.
"Take that back Sawyer!"
Kate said as she pinned him down. Sawyer just smirked, noting the position he was in with Kate sitting on top of him...
"Getting nostalgic for the old days Freckles?"
"Take it back!" She demanded.
Glaring into her eyes he retorted...
"No!"
He shook his head...
"Its true aint it? Youd rather be sitting here with him instead of me?"
Kate grabbed his shirt and pulled him up to her growling back...
"No its not true..."
Sawyer rolled Kate over onto her back so he was in the dominant position, both of them getting leaves and dirt in their hair as they sparred.
"If its not true then prove it!" Sawyer challenged her with his eyes. And Kate flipped him back down so she was sitting on top of him. Not quite sure where to begin. Smashing her lips over his mouth forcefully.
When her mouth met his there was a burning passion there, raw and filled with venom the kiss stung, but it also felt so good. She looked back at him with her eyes still ablaze...
"You were right Sawyer...I was jealous...(she bent down to bite his lower lip as his hands cupped her ass hard, both of them taking thier aggressions out in their sexual actions) He made a deal with them to buy Juliet and him a ticket off this island...Ben was going to let him go home!"
Sawyer flipped her back over and plunged his tongue into her mouth angrily. So far her story wasnt sounding very promising...
"Why should I believe you?" He demanded.
Kate was frustrated with his stubborness. Wanting him to listen to her, she Snaked her ankle around his knee and turned him over again knocking Sawyer back flat on his back, secretly enjoying this fiery game they were playing.
"Because Jack loves Juliet, and not me..."
Her nails raked under his shirt over the taught tan skin....
"And I dont love him... (She kissed Sawyer and he couldnt help but not kiss her back) Im not jealous anymore (she explained breathlessly)"
Sawyer grabbed her jaw and made her look at him.
"Your not jealous cause you Lost him Kate" Sawyer reasoned, but Kate just shook her head plunging her tongue into his mouth as they continued, gasping in-between breaths she exhaled....
Then she started to unbutton his shirt.
"Im not jealous anymore cause I saw them together and I wasnt angry...Im not jealous anymore cause there was only one person I wanted to be with this whole evening...Im not jealous cause..."
Sawyer met her gaze apprehensively watching, but not daring to break it, and Kate's fumbling hands finally at rest, she paused for a moment before continuing...
"Im not jealous because Im in love with YOU Sawyer!"
Not wanting to blink, he just looked at her awestricken and Kate watched him apprehensively. She was nervous about his reaction to this. Would he shut her out again, would he take back his earlier pledge to her?
Sawyer smirked and watched her with that twinkle in his eye, noticing a self doubt there, a humbleness. His dimples deepened and he reached his hand down around the waist of her top...
"Baby its about fucking time!"
There undeniable sigh of releif from Kate and she smiled at him. Sawyer smiled back and pulled her down to him once more.
"Now c'mere!"
He replied as they both stripped one another like their lives depended upon it. Kate smiled back kissing him, the relief strewn across her face. She didnt spontaneously combust, although they would probably come close in a little while as Sawyer worked his way around her body.
They ravaged one another right there on the jungle floor. Nothing but the wild bird calls and crickets to provide background music. Much like their first kiss. A time when neither one of them new what they were getting into, but the collision shook up their world, to the very core. When Kate screamed his name, his real name into the jungle this time, Sawyer fell into the abyss with her. Both of them spinning into a mystical world that they now shared.
When it was all over and Kate finally peeled herself away from Sawyers sticky skin she grabbed his hand and pulled him up to stand with her. Both of their naked bodies drenched in the soft moon light and he kissed her lips gently. She breathed him in sighing in perfect bliss as her body tingled.
He pulled away and asked her...
"So now you gonna finally move in with me?"
Kate gave it some thought for a moment , smiled and shook her head, replying....
"No!"
He tried not to look hurt, fixing his gaze to the ground, but Kate was just staring at him. He looked confused and Kate continued raising her eyebrows as she met his crushed gaze...
"But you can move in with me James!"
And the lights of hope in his eyes were back. Kate smiled and she kissed his lips softly. Shoving her legs back into her pants, she grabbed her tank top and started to rush past him, Sawyer could barely take in what she was doing before she looked back and chided...
"C'mon Sawyer...Race you home!"
Shaking his head Sawyer rolled his eyes and grunted. He hadnt even gotten one foot in a pant leg yet.
It was just like her to race ahead of him without warning. Sawyer realized the outcome of her little race was inevitable, and he didnt even have a chance with Kates head start. But when she said home, he knew he didnt need to worry about whos tent they ended up in. Her words still ringing in his head "C'mon Sawyer...Race you home!"
"Not if Im already there" He replied quietly under his breath. Watching Kates brown mane flop off into the brush.
